“You could lead your life as if the whole world were watching you on TV, or you could lead your life as… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Who are you all going to gossip about once the celebrities leave town? You’ll need to find someone else to talk about.”… — Tina Reber Copy Share Image
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father,… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
The constitution of human nature" teaches us not to expect "that the persons, entrusted with the administration of the affairs of the… — Alexander Hamilton Copy Share Image
“James, watching Cathy being chatted up by that pussy-shark was like witnessing a nun accidentally walk onto a porno set. She was… — Tamara Larson Copy Share Image
“Yes, contractions can be intense,' Noura continues. 'But your bodies are designed to handle it. And what you must remember is, it's… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“There aren't many kids today as good as you are. Kids today are selfish; they don't think of others. They're too busy… — K. Martin Beckner Copy Share Image
“The perfectly measured burr of a dispassionate detective had suddenly changed into the explosive boom of a take-no-shit street cop. Suffice it… — Cleo Coyle Copy Share Image
“When we regard thoughts and emotions with humor and openness, that’s how we perceive the universe. This opening to the world begins… — Pema Chödrön Copy Share Image
Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why don’t we do the whole friends with benefits thing?” he asks seriously. “Because I don’t think I’d enjoy having the benefits… — R.S. Burnett Copy Share Image
“How hard can writing be? After all, most of the words are going to be 'and,' 'the,' and 'I,' and 'it,' and… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Optimism is the first cousin of love, and it's exactly like love in three ways: it's pushy, it has no real sense… — Gregory David Roberts Copy Share Image
“Without making a conscious decision to do so, Drew grabbed a fistful of her ridiculous blond wig and tugged. Some of her… — Lindy Zart Copy Share Image
I want to give haute couture a kind of wink, a sense of humour - to introduce the whole sense of freedom… — Yves Saint Laurent Copy Share Image
“Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.” — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
If you look at 'The Best Man,' there's a lot of humor in that, but I never consider that movie a comedy.… — Malcolm D. Lee Copy Share Image
“BECAUSE OF PIETY’S PENCHANT for taking itself too seriously, theology does well to nurture a modest, unguarded sense of comedy. Some droll… — Thomas C. Oden Copy Share Image
“So, what do you say? Want to be my date for what is absolutely guaranteed to be a miserable evening—and before you… — Susannah Nix Copy Share Image
“A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do… — Lea DeLaria Copy Share Image
“I’m sure her vagina isn’t sticking out.” I look at Poppy. “Jesus, it’s not sticking out is it?” “Go say something encouraging… — Pella Grace Copy Share Image
“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of,… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Once upon a time, I had two close friends. Shocking, I know, given my natural charm, but there are those who just… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“Britt's frequent romances always took off like rockets propelled by promise and power and star-crossed destiny. Then, a few months in, they… — Becky Wade Copy Share Image
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“And… that’s the last we have in our actual records. […] There’s been more in the last week, I take it?” “More… — wildbow Copy Share Image
“Forgetting herself, she turned toward him and her eyes bulged. “You’re naked!” “It’s what one tends to do in their home when… — Marie Hall Copy Share Image
“Did you have a good nap?" Emil asked. "Yeah, I guess I was tired. I need to practice resting when I go… — Angela Corbett Copy Share Image
I wanted to come to Chicago. I also wanted to do "Saturday Night Live." And then I got to a place where… — Simon Helberg Copy Share Image
“comedy and comic satisfaction thrive on things that do not exactly add up. They thrive on these discrepancies as a source of… — Alenka Zupančič Copy Share Image
“Before I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It’s stupid, but… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
“Sugar maple!" Mary-Todd Holt knelt over her husband. "Are you all right?" Eisenhower sat up, and egg-size lump blooming on his crown.… — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
Apparently, my father was funny. I didn't really know him, but people have theories that the gag-smith gene trickles down through the… — Aisling Bea Copy Share Image
There are times for all of us when all the laughter seems to be gone, but we should not permit these periods… — Earl Nightingale Copy Share Image
“It's sad, and you're sad, but as you reflect on the three wonderful years you shared you begin to realize that relationships… — Ryan North Copy Share Image
“Anyway, she thinks we're going to be all right. Like she says, a positive attitude is ninety-seven percent of the battle." This… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“It isn't as simple as a fascination of the flesh. It's everything about her that I love: her intelligence, her ambition, her… — Kristen Zimmer Copy Share Image
“The surgeons like to bleed a man, to let ill humours out, so that he may face the world anew. Perhaps they… — Mark Lawrence Copy Share Image
“No thanks,” I answered, “I never take rides from strangers, thugs who've tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene.… — John Zakour Copy Share Image