“Why Banning Miller, what a vision you are in your fine dress. Must've taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get… — Jane Espenson Copy Share Image
“The silver car had been closing in, but just then, it took a sharp turn to the left. Where are they going?… — Zechariah Barrett Copy Share Image
“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
If the first ‘Hangover’ movie were this awful, there never would have been a Part Two. This is a joyless, unfunny mix… — Mick LaSalle Copy Share Image
“I debated whether to tell them I had long since abandoned my writing career and moved into radishes and fraud, but decided… — Susan Juby Copy Share Image
“I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be… — Stephen Reid Andrews Copy Share Image
“Move along,” Hines said. “Last room down.” I spotted a fish tank halfway down the aisle. Dug into my pocket. “Hi,” I… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“One," said the recording secretary. "Jesus wept," answered Leon promptly. There was not a sound in the church. You could almost hear… — Gene Stratton-Porter Copy Share Image
“Given the choice between eating this cupcake or watching Ryan Gosling and Jon Hamm wrestle each other for the privilege of having… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
“I'm a duck farmer. Am I the world's best duck farmer? Probably not, but there's no official ranking, and I'm a modest… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before I… — Susan Ee Copy Share Image
“Isn't reduced brain damage a good thing?' asked Nathan. 'Oh, totally--I wish I had reduced brain damage, or at least, I wish… — Mira Grant Copy Share Image
“Ohmigod! This place is so cool!” This was Tracy, who was sashaying into the warehouse looking around like she just hit the… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
There's a fallacy with stand up comedy, which is, people come up to comedians, and they go, 'You say what I think… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
“You're missing the wow factor." Garrett snickered. "Did you really just say wow factor ?" "Oh, whatever. What are you, twelve?" "Twelve… — Amanda Young Copy Share Image
“The men had scattered in all directions, which men are inclined to do when women leave them to their own devices for… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
“Harry — I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!” And she sprinted away, up the stairs.… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“I've never seen Salisbury steak on a restaurant menu. It's only in frozen dinners. Is there something we should know about that?… — Kelli Jae Baeli Copy Share Image
“Eli's a good kid, Jasper. Too good for the likes of me. He deserves better." Jasper shot him a penetrating look. "What… — Charlie Cochet Copy Share Image
There's public humor, and there's private humor, and they're all appropriate in their own way, and you shouldn't - just as you… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
“I'm sure you won't dream of trying to escape from your obligations by fleeing the city...' 'I assure you the thought never… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I am committing suicide by cigarette,” I replied. She thought that was reasonably funny. I didn’t. I thought it was hideous that… — Kurt Vonnegut Jr Copy Share Image
“Can I help you?" he said, in a manner which indicated very clearly that not only did he not wish to help… — Graham Austin-King Copy Share Image
“Polly had been washing up when she'd heard the men talking late one night, and it's a poor woman who can't eavesdrop… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“... That's why you're going directly back to the house. The last thing we need is for you to end up in… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“You do not mind my humor?” “Not at all. I’ve not laughed like this …” His brows drew together. “I think I’ve… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Without laughter life on our planet would be intolerable. So important is laughter to us that humanity highly rewards members of one… — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
“Now if you are told that some piece of information will come as a shock to you, the chances are that you… — Walter R. Brooks Copy Share Image
“Are we going to be stupid?” she whispered. “Define stupid.” “Anything that involves either one of us exposing our favorite body parts.”… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
If you find a saint who has no sense of humour, then he is not a saint at all. Impossible. His very… — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
“I'm the poster boy for no movement." "I think the girls disagree with that statement. I've seen your pictures on the Internet.… — Jesikah Sundin Copy Share Image
“The Labyrinth, a walled garden where humans tortured plants and flowers into growing in straight lines and sharp corners so unnatural that… — Jon Evans Copy Share Image
“It was sweet he was checking on me. He didn’t have to, but he knew that Blair and I were friends. Sisters,… — Barbara C. Doyle Copy Share Image
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
“Luckily," he went on, "you have come to exactly the right place with your interesting problem, for there is no such word… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown. Things that you wish you never saw, never asked, never… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
In general, even when I'm not doing political comedy, I want to be clever and find the least confrontational way to say… — Varun Grover Copy Share Image
Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and… — Raymond Chandler Copy Share Image
