“It could have been a thief or a murderer. I considered crying out. A thief would run away, but a murderer would… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“It was a map. A really crudely drawn map of trees, mountains that looked like upside-down Vs, and stick people. Apparently, drawing… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
God inspired me, because I was blessed with the knowledge that I wanted to do this. And my mother supported it. She… — Martin Lawrence Copy Share Image
“Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“This is just your penis having the feels for my vagina. Your penis is making prank calls! and every single time your… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I had to write a comedy set and film a show at the same time. And it's the second time I've been… — Zach Anner Copy Share Image
“In crew, contempt is important. In Boston, Boston University and Northeastern crew are treated with contempt by the college up the river.… — Lisa Birnbach Copy Share Image
Whatever the best scripts are and you just want to play roles that you can really sink your teeth into. That's always… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
I don't tend to read much comedy, but there's a fake advertisement section at the end of Derren Brown's book 'Pure Effect'… — Nick Mohammed Copy Share Image
“Lighten up.” I yawned, pointing across the street to the diner. “If I got upset every time someone beat me, or chased… — Mary Calmes Copy Share Image
“If you have ever opened a can of worms, boxed yourself into a corner, ended up in hot water, or found yourself… — Maryrose Wood Copy Share Image
Describing laughter: The sound is produced by a deep inspiration followed by short, interrupted, spasmodic contractions of the chest, and especially the… — Charles Darwin Copy Share Image
I've never been a big fan of improvisation, because I think you appreciate the process and the cleverness of it more than… — Alan Thicke Copy Share Image
“I'm going to make it a law that the correct way to address your sovereign is my giving a high five.' Kai's… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
“There were dumplings on the train, sold by grim men and women with deep lines cut into their faces by years and… — Cory Doctorow Copy Share Image
“Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious.… — Sam Harris Copy Share Image
“Oh, this is not the time for us to get into that meshugenah debate again! Look, the point is that Jesus of… — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low Copy Share Image
“After graduation, we can just ... ride into the sunrise," he says. "The sunrise?" His lips twitch. "If we ride into the… — Heather Demetrios Copy Share Image
God...my self in the Bronx always says that God has a funny sense of humor. ..He has a way of treating things,… — Malachi Martin Copy Share Image
“Imagine that you have to break someone’s arm. Right or left, doesn’t matter. The point is that you have to break it,… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
“Iúnni cur unni olàs Ningi innúcure itlóra; Lora carús tèrni ritlizi, Titzi cur ane, ane pétora otanna, Rítli, ot tànna, pir dus… — J. V. Foix Copy Share Image
“We'd better go," I say. "It's time for you to make Hmong babies." Toua pulls free from my grasp. "You little--" "Go.… — Rose Christo Copy Share Image
“And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Phoebe doesn't quite believe in fate the way I do. She says you have to chase your destiny, and she always expects… — Lauren Morrill Copy Share Image
Homophobia is a tough one. In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic. Comedy clubs in general are very unsafe… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“Chicken Soup for the Soul". You've heard of these books, am I right? We've all heard of them. But I wonder if… — Marisa de los Santos Copy Share Image
“For instance, in a book entitled Mathematics and the Imagination (published in 1940) the authors, Edward Kasner and James Newman, introduced a… — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
“You have to say 'Men with a thinning problem'. Bald is discriminatory. I was joking around once and suggested 'gentlemen who are… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
“I wake up every morning thinking about all the great things I am going to accomplish that day, and I go to… — John A. Ashley Copy Share Image
By the time I got to the point where I was 'starring' in movies, and I had executives telling me what lines… — Rick Moranis Copy Share Image
I think I would call Night Music a romantic comedy. I don't know if you are familiar with an old movie called… — Boti Bliss Copy Share Image
The humour of the Chinese people in inventing gunpowder and finding its best use in making firecrackers for their grandfathers' birthdays is… — Lin Yutang Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, our pride compels us to engage in costly wars when a true commitment to a compromising peace would have been the… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
When I was a little girl, the only real form of entertainment I was exposed to was theater, being raised in St.… — Kelly Stables Copy Share Image
If you don't know a light bulb is a three-way light bulb, it messes with your head. You reach to turn it… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“The verdict of this court is that the accused are guilty of witchcraft. The maximum penalty the law allows is to be… — Richard Curtis Copy Share Image
“I found a really good Brussel sprouts recipe on Instagram. It's really good. It's easy. Take the Brussel sprouts, cut them in… — Tim Hawkins Copy Share Image
It hit me that being hip was a full-time job, and I was only a part-timer. I couldn't hide forever that I… — Jancee Dunn Copy Share Image
![“God...my self in the Bronx always says that God has a funny sense of humor. ..He has a way of treating things, he deals with each individual soul delicately, tenderly, compassionately but he deals with groups of people [country] according to certain laws and he always observes those laws and that…” quote by Malachi Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/malachi-martin-61838_bronx_god-my-self-in-the-bronx-always-says-tha_82132.jpg)
