“She hadn’t planned any of this, but her thoughts ran away with her, and she hated how pathetic she must sound. Poor… — India Drummond Copy Share Image
“It seeems like so long ago but I'm sorry I yelled at you after the party" "I doubt it'll be the last… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
“ 'Face death'? Am I going to die? NDA: I'll take this one. Yes, you will die - some day. When you… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“I trust my points are noted... Very noted... Received, recognized, and duly considered with the utmost gravity. Sealed, notarized, and firmly imprinted… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
“Why did Mother ask you to help me rescue Gelsi?” I asked Leif. “She thought I could assist you in some way.… — Maria V. Snyder Copy Share Image
I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“{ Replying to G. H. Hardy's suggestion that the number of a taxi (1729) was 'dull', showing off his spontaneous mathematical genius… — Srinivasa Ramanujan Aiyangar Copy Share Image
You have to have humor. If you don't have humor and you take yourself seriously, you're dead in the water. You have… — Anthony Hopkins Copy Share Image
“When Mr.Cunningham ran outside during the battle shouting "Hurrah for Jeff Davis!", a Union shot clipped his ear. Mr.Cunningham ran back inside… — Clint Johnson Copy Share Image
Twitter is the place where I try to be more funny. And then I use Instagram just as my diary. I pull… — Gigi Hadid Copy Share Image
When I devoted myself to poetry - and poetry is a very serious medium - I don't think the people that knew… — Ana Castillo Copy Share Image
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I've played villains on stage - you know, the Iagos and so on - but I think of myself as a funny… — Michael Emerson Copy Share Image
“F. Scott Fitzgerald believed inserting exclamation points was the literary equivalent of an author laughing at his own jokes, but that's not… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“Leo lowered his screwdriver. He looked at the ceiling and shook his head like, What am I gonna do with this guy?… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“It took Pueblo a few seconds to take in his surroundings. The first thing he realised was that he felt bruised all… — Dianna Hardy Copy Share Image
“My manager, who is a very timid person, often tells me that I should think before I speak. I tell her that… — Miley Cyrus Copy Share Image
“So, what's first?" "Dexterity. I throw things at you. You avoid them." "You're not a complicated person, are you? Let's do it."… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
“I had found by experience that putting things down on paper helped to clear the mind in precisely the same way, as… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“A minute later he (Brady) collapsed next to me. "What do you say to the person who gave you the best orgasm… — Michele Bardsley Copy Share Image
In my own field, x-ray crystallography, we used to work out the structure of minerals by various dodges which we never bothered… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor helps ease the tension of race and the differences in society. If there wasn't comedy I don't know if Obama could… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
I'm definitely not frowning on improv; I mean, I've been doing it for years. I just think that there's some styles of… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
“Breathing heavily, Major-General Gudz was making his way towards Mostovskoy. He shuffled along, wheezing and sticking out his lower lip; folds of… — Vasily Grossman Copy Share Image
“What's the matter with her? [Jasper] asked Griffin. Griffin shook his head. 'Nothing. She's just two personas struggling for dominance in one… — Kady Cross Copy Share Image
“At twenty years old, Michael had vague plans to make changes in his life, but turning blue whilst stood in a walk-in… — Dylan Perry Copy Share Image
“Besides increasing energy and enhancing the immune system, laughter diminishes pain, improves focus, reignites hope, restores connections, enhances relationships, relieves tension, relaxes… — Rashid Buttar Copy Share Image
“You know how to check fer thin ice, boy?" he would ask me. "Wall, what you do is stick one foot way… — Patrick Mcmanus Copy Share Image
“Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I… — Dan Florence Copy Share Image
I think comedy is a good way to deal with anything. I hear about people in the hospital who are ill, and… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
When you're about 20 years old, you kind of think out - I figured out that it was better - less good… — Steve Wozniak Copy Share Image
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God,… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to give the best human expression that I can to any particular genre, which could be comedy, could be… — David Harbour Copy Share Image
“Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half… — Taeko Watanabe Copy Share Image
“You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes. "Hmm?" "If you turned off this crap music and put on… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“What's the matter with her? [Jasper] asked Griffin. Griffin shook his head. 'Nothing. She's just two personas struggling for dominance in one body.' [Jasper] ... Poor little thing.” quote by Kady Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da8/kady-cross-8495_humor_what-s-the-matter-with-her-jasper-asked_2519203.jpg)
