“Generally speaking, it is injudicious for ladies to attempt arguing with gentlemen on political or financial topics. All the information that a… — Samuel Orchart Beeton Copy Share Image
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how… — Barbara Bush Copy Share Image
“What looks good to you?” he asked as if we were out for ice cream. Rocky road or pistachio? Like my Corvette… — Leesa Freeman Copy Share Image
“It was frustratingly common that children were no sooner gone from the nest and established in their own homes ... than they… — Helen Simonson Copy Share Image
“People who want to climb mountains just like taking metaphors for real. So when I say I could murder for a mangosteen,… — Initially NO Copy Share Image
“Nothing mitigates the throes of depression like a steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce and grated parmasan cheese, with… — Paul Clayton Copy Share Image
“I'm working from the assumption it's going to go horribly wrong. If we get out of here with limbs intact and no… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“That's what happens when stars stop fusing hydrogen into helium. They lose their helium, become too heavy, and then fall through the… — Diana Rose Copy Share Image
When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic… — Francois Truffaut Copy Share Image
I don't have the most confidence in the world, and I'd venture to say most women in comedy don't come from a… — Cecily Strong Copy Share Image
“Turn that worthless lawn into a beautiful garden of food whose seeds are stories sown, whose foods are living origins. Grow a… — Martin Prechtel Copy Share Image
I really like when different stories are represented, it's not just the same kind of person, and when there's humor in it,… — Jessica Williams Copy Share Image
“The one time Egwene had protested that Elyas was the one who wanted to go around hills and he should not blame… — Robert Jordan Copy Share Image
“…It usually starts innocently enough, a friend remarking to you that the co-op has a nice new crop of grapefruit. “Hmm, I… — Michael J. Nelson Copy Share Image
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Interestingly it's when you come to the comedy, that's where a lot of the discussion is. It's like ten people sitting around… — Paul W. S. Anderson Copy Share Image
“If you don’t have a sense of humour when you’re in a band, you end up like f**king Emerson, Lake and Palmer,… — Ozzy Osbourne Copy Share Image
“I don't know what I was expecting a vampire's room to look like. Maybe lots of black, a bunch of books by… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“The preacher released a pent-up breath as he sagged in relief. “Thank God he's gone.” His eyes narrowed at Alexander as he… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“Would you think,” Richard asked, “that I was being picky if I pointed out that trying to find something with an angel… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“We were at a swap meet in Cochituate last year, and there was this Boy Scout troop with a sign that read,… — Bill Konigsberg Copy Share Image
“Snakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
Ya of course we're best friends...You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You fall off a bridge I laugh even HARDER.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I want to see the front of you.” “That’s what all the girls say.” “Do you expect me to roll you over?… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“Looks like you've learned your lesson! The planet of Venus, the goddess of love and beauty, can even use the stink of… — Naoko Takeuchi Copy Share Image
“Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you? Master of Stupidity: I wasn't thinking. I was having… — Toba Beta Copy Share Image
I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are… — Emily Rios Copy Share Image
Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull. / Suppose you were, you silly seagull.… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“And you think that’s going to work?“ Dink, dink, dink, dink. “Oh, shut up.” Gemma turned and went into the bathroom as… — Kathleen Brooks Copy Share Image
“Oh! That is funny.' And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter which annoyed me no end. I like… — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Copy Share Image
As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Who are they?” I whispered, as we took seats opposite each other. Scout glanced up as she pulled notebooks and books from… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
“Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either.… — Donald Miller Copy Share Image
Ginny! said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think… — JK Rowling Copy Share Image
People are funny, and in the most tragic situations, when comedy erupts from nowhere, it can turn on its head within the… — Sally Hawkins Copy Share Image
The funniest women I've known are Southern. It is such a vital way to get what you want. Charm and grace and… — Connie Britton Copy Share Image
What's lovely about 'Eureka' is that it's a sci-fi show, but it's not monsters from outer space; it's not craziness from outer… — Joe Morton Copy Share Image
“[L]ike most people, I like to think of myself as being spontaneous, ready for anything, fun. This is the evening’s second hard-won… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“I have a heart!” “No, you don’t.” “Yes, I do,” he says. “Look, I’ll prove it to you.” He reaches into the… — Lauren Barnholdt Copy Share Image