“Ready for the big Day of Tolerance?" she asks. "Are you kidding?" I ask. "I'd rather poke my eyes out with dull… — A. S. King Copy Share Image
“Mmm, butt bagels." Elody reaches into the bag and pulls out a bagel, half squashed, then makes a big deal of taking… — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
“It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight,' an example of PLEASE— Pretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym,… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
“His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
When we go to see comedians or funny movies, they don't address the wall behind them; they face us. This is why… — Doug TenNapel Copy Share Image
In 'Bojack,' at least at first, we had to couch some of the sadder or weirder or introspective stuff we were doing… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I am so glad Todd and I eloped,” she said sincerely. “There was no way to salvage the wreckage. But I think… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“An as-yet-unpublished poet in Boulder, Colorado, once said to me that anything worth doing was worth doing badly. I may seem, in… — Joanna Russ Copy Share Image
“The shrieks were coming from two quite naked girls, who were pursued by a pair of apes snapping at their bottoms. [...]… — Voltaire Copy Share Image
I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling… — Sandra Bernhard Copy Share Image
“I knew my name. So I let him know I knew it. 'Yeah,' I said in a voice very like mine. Mine… — Carrie Fisher Copy Share Image
“Let’s just say that once the party was over, the Tribe had the decency to put most of the things back into… — Sorin Suciu Copy Share Image
“Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“A Spaniard and a Pole worked in the barbershop where we got our hair cut. An Italian shined our shoes. A Croat… — Ilya Ilf, Yevgeni Petrov Copy Share Image
“The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I think British humour is very cruel, and gay humour is very cruel. I think the two go hand-in-hand and that's why… — Jason Sellards Copy Share Image
“Thanks anyway,' Vanderdecker repeated, and wandered off to have a stare at the sea. It was his equivalent to beating his head… — Tom Holt Copy Share Image
It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I think 'Glee' was a freshman comedy, and I think whenever it's your debut season, you get compared a lot to the… — Gillian Jacobs Copy Share Image
“Jack has been cracking the whip. Er . . . I mean . . .” I flush and fall silent. Christian says… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“I have a pretty good handle on my anxiety. I basically treat myself like a nervy horse: lots of exercise, lots of… — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
I remember 'The Cosby Show,' but that was something completely different. Comedy. There was a lightness to it and a sort of… — Corey Hawkins Copy Share Image
Like Dilip Kumar, I've never run after money but only after good roles and that's why have always rebelled against those directors… — Asrani Copy Share Image
“Come on, Fishlegs,” whispered Camicazi, whistling happily. “You know we have to do this. Besides, I feel like a bit of exercise.… — Cressida Cowell Copy Share Image
The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and… — Denis Norden Copy Share Image
With a lot of the movies that I've done, they've been both dramas and comedies from Shanghai Noon to Billy Bob Thornton's… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
“Oftentimes, a truth is so big, so far beyond our understanding, that the only way we can grasp it is through a… — Sam Torode Copy Share Image
You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and… — John Lloyd Copy Share Image
I have quite a close relationship with violence and horror. They are enjoyable and terrible. I try and offset the horror with… — Evie Wyld Copy Share Image
In point of fact, I'm not sure there are too many comedies with laugh tracks anymore. Most of what you hear is… — Christopher Lloyd Copy Share Image
“In a well-organized world he might have landed on a fire escape, but the fire escapes were unknown in Ankh-Morpork and the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“[after guard dogs frozen mid-attack] 'How long are the dogs going to stay hanging there like that?' ask Yulia. 'I want to… — Sergei Lukyanenko Copy Share Image
I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a… — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
“When he did, Casey saw a real guy with a sense of humor peeking through. Truthfully, he liked the fact that Stedman… — Donna McDonald Copy Share Image
“Being a dad is about more than the good and the bad, it's also about taking the time to treasure what you… — Brooke and Keith Desserich Copy Share Image
“If you are ignorant of Lora Delane Porter’s books that is your affair. Perhaps you are more to be pitied than censured.… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on… — Hugh Sidey Copy Share Image
“It’s a truism in policing that witnesses and statements are fine, but nothing beats empirical physical evidence. Actually it isn’t a truism… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
“You’ll wear loads of face powder and rouge.” “They’ll itch.” She knew from experimenting with Cousin Augusta’s. “And you must use a… — Kieran Kramer Copy Share Image
![“The shrieks were coming from two quite naked girls, who were pursued by a pair of apes snapping at their bottoms. [...] So he now raises his double-barrelled Spanish rifle, fires and kills both apes. 'God be praised, my dear Calambo! I have delivered these two poor creatures from grave peril; if…” quote by Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a9/voltaire-173_apes_the-shrieks-were-coming-from-two-quite-n_173005.png)
![“[after guard dogs frozen mid-attack] 'How long are the dogs going to stay hanging there like that?' ask Yulia. 'I want to make friends with them. Otherwise, i'll be left with a latent psychological complex that's bound to affect my personality and sexual preferences.” quote by Sergei Lukyanenko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/sergei-lukyanenko-4246_animal_after-guard-dogs-frozen-mid-attack-how-l_2922671.png)
