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“Leo,” Jason said, “you’re weird.” “Yeah, you tell me that a lot.” Leo grinned. “But if you don’t remember me, that means… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
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I visited Jobs for the last time in his Palo Alto, Calif., home. He had moved to a downstairs bedroom because he… — Walter Isaacson Copy Share Image
“Be not fickle with your riddles, Alasír,” she said. “You and I both suspect the same thing. Someone has been out here… — Jacob D. Lochner Copy Share Image
“Did you really have to put ideas in Izzy's head? she now has some…What did she call it? Oh yeah "Trifecta of… — Harper Sloan Copy Share Image
“OK, I confess. I Googled him once. Maybe twice. Oh, all right, so I've lost count over the years. But so what?… — Alexandra Potter Copy Share Image
“Ronan pointed at the cart. "Get in there." "What?" He just continued pointing. Adam said, "Give me a break. This is a… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
“Morpheus places his hand on Jeb's busy fingers, eyes opened to slits. "Ah, my pretty pseudo elf." He takes labored breath. "is… — A.G. Howard Copy Share Image
“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“At any rate," she prattled on, awkwardness making her words run together, "I really can't get up to get my clothing, and… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard… — G.M. Malliet Copy Share Image
“At first he found it amusing. He coined a law intended to have the humor of a Parkinson’s law that "The number… — Robert Pirsig Copy Share Image
When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
The one thing that makes 'Torchwood' work so brilliantly and makes it a little bit above the rest of all other sci-fi… — John Barrowman Copy Share Image
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Humor is everything. Everything. Usually the negatives turned out to be the most positive for me. In the music industry, any other… — Pitbull Copy Share Image
I'm interested not just in projects that I'll be starring in, but producing film and TV that's really quality and great for… — Lance Reddick Copy Share Image
“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When I do comedy, my brain sort of locks up in the infinite possibilities. That's where I get sort of lost. I… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
“...Stella’s tiny butt stuck in the air as she stretched to reach a weed. She was wearing a pair of jeans and… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Warning: Contains old friends, old enemies, a dramatic cat rescue, soft drink references and a lot of teasing before the steamy sex.… — K.A. Mitchell Copy Share Image
“When answering the question "Who won?" "Peter. Damn mutant cyborg. He can run the fastest. I guess that's a good thing, since… — Joey W. Hill Copy Share Image
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We started off in improv and sketch comedy, and with improv the most important thing is to listen and make sure you're… — Sal Vulcano Copy Share Image
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I got a alot of forigenier at my school so alot knowns different language. One of my teacher is one she Korean… — MrCountry Copy Share Image
“You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down,… — Shannon Lyndsy Copy Share Image
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
'Zorn' goes to some pretty ridiculous places, but the real comedy is coming from these little observations about life that are not… — Phil Lord Copy Share Image
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![“I got a alot of forigenier at my school so alot knowns different language. One of my teacher is one she Korean or something ,so the class started asked her to say stuff for them [she a nice teacher] I wrote out THis is a fact ;Monkeys rule ,but Michael is awesome and got her to say it and finish…” quote by MrCountry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e5/mrcountry-5018_humor_i-got-a-alot-of-forigenier-at-my-school_2649300.jpg)
