“An ass is an ass, no matter how many first names you give it.” — Uncle Jessie The Joy of Life Copy Share Image
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Cultivate your sense of humour. On life's journey from nappy rash to denture adhesive, humour is a great pain reliever. — James Simpson Copy Share Image
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees? — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. Imelda Marcos — Imelda Marcos Copy Share Image
“You can’t make it to God without interacting with the devil. 'The Adventures of Catrine and the Devil II” — Stephan Attia Copy Share Image
There is a strong ethical dimension to the best comedy. Not only does it avoid reinforcing prejudices, it actively challenges them. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
“he just clamps his lips over mine and sticks his tongue so far into my mouth I feel like I'm being examined… — Poppet Copy Share Image
“The psychopaths are always around. In calm times we study them, but in times of upheaval, they rule over us.” — Ernst Kretschmer Copy Share Image
I don't give a fuck if you like what I post.. 'Cause I like what I post. — Raghib Clitso Copy Share Image
“Whoa. Not too stiff," Cody said. "Secure, strong, but calm. Like you're caressing a beautiful woman, remember?" That made me think of… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“He was a good storyteller, but he told the kind of stories that made children run away from the village and adults… — Sorin Suciu Copy Share Image
“I'd be looking at some stony sculpture Michelangelo would have killed his grandmother to be able to do, and thinking, I don't… — Robin McKinley Copy Share Image
“Hello, sexy. I knew that you couldn't get through the night without me," Finn's smug, slightly sleepy voice filled my ear. "So… — Jennifer Estep Copy Share Image
“It was only after they had left the bridge and its gaurdian far behind that Theo realized he had left Tansy's telephone-brooch… — Tad Williams Copy Share Image
Horror is one of the few genres - romance and comedy are the other two that come to mind - that's all… — Stephen R. Bissette Copy Share Image
“The difference here 'twixt simple and witty folk, if the truth be known, is that your plain man cares much for what… — John Barth Copy Share Image
The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must first break your mirror — Francois Rabelais Copy Share Image
“I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant!” — Tranea Prosser Copy Share Image
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
