“In trading Bitcoin and other commodities, everyone wants 1000% in a week, but can't handle 20% drop in a week. That's the… — Olawale Daniel Copy Share Image
“I can't believe this is happening. The ghost stuff he handles without a problem. Discovering I was previously uncharted territory, that's grounds… — Phoenix Emrys Copy Share Image
“That's all right," said the Scarecrow. "You are quite welcome to take my head off, as long as it will be a… — L. Frank Baum Copy Share Image
What I'm doing when I'm doing my speaking engagements is that I'm delivering serious material with humor. So, instead of delivering humor… — Andy Andrews Copy Share Image
“Harold (about max): he looks kinda like a football couch Chester (sarcastically): Yay team rah rah. if he says anything athletic i'll… — James Howe Copy Share Image
I want to do something challenging and I want to take risks, but above all, I want people to be entertained...Because the… — Shazia Mirza Copy Share Image
I assured the prime minister, my administration will work hard to lay the foundation of peace in the Middle - to work… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“Kit," said a female voice, "what's wrong with the fridge? All the food's gone. No, wait, there's a really ugly alien in… — Diane Duane Copy Share Image
I was doing stand up comedy when I was 11, that's how I got started; not because I wanted to do comedy,… — Shia LaBeouf Copy Share Image
“Yeah, well, that won’t matter if your throat starts swelling and you die in my passenger seat.” That could happen with an… — Katee Robert Copy Share Image
“So he starts getting up and brings me along by my lips. Alright. Now we're being videotaped. His backs to the camera.… — Bella Shadow Copy Share Image
I think you have to be careful about not hurting someone. The last thing I'd want to do is make a fool… — Charlyne Yi Copy Share Image
I don't see teenagers anymore. I see... I see youths. Slumped S shapes in their hoodies, all huddled round a bin of… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I feel like comedy is doing well right now because there's so many avenues to be seen. Whether it's through the Internet… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
“Nothing more likely,"said Hannasyde. "I've got to try and rattle him." "It's him that'll do the rattling,"said the Sergeant darkly. "he's the… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks.… — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
“We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
I don't just want to be a cute girl in a comedy or the actress who just does the same thing over… — Naturi Naughton Copy Share Image
I'm always amazed that anyone is paying attention to anything that I do, you know what I mean? I feel like I'm… — Colin Hanks Copy Share Image
“Growing up in a family of gamblers, daredevils and practical jokers, I've learned a lot about timing and its first cousin, dumb… — Toby Speed Copy Share Image
“Amphora,” he murmured against the wide, sweet curve of her lips. His hands slid over the wide, sweet curve of her hips,… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
“I could have told, just looking at him, that that was the tone he would use asking a question. A tone that… — Rex Stout Copy Share Image
Tyrants and dictators will accept no other gods before them. They require disobedience to the First Commandment. They seek absolute control and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Comrades, we are going to try to cheer you up, and our sense of humor will help us in this endeavor, although… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
“The poor soul would have been 100 - if he'd lived another twelve years. Apparently he asked to be scattered over the… — Bridget Golightly Copy Share Image
To be honest, I watch way more dramatic films when I'm chilling at home. I think when you work in comedy, you… — Bill Hader Copy Share Image
“polityka jest jak gnojówka: cokolwiek byś robił, to będziesz śmierdział, kiedy do niej wejdziesz, a najgorsze, co cię może spotkać, to, że… — Jacek Piekara Copy Share Image
“He pointed to a chair opposite him. “Sit.” Another sip. “I’m hiding from commitment.” “Who’s evil enough to name a girl that?”… — Isabelle Crusoe Copy Share Image
One day, I said to my father, 'I'm thinking of giving the comedy thing a try, what's your advice?' He goes, 'If… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
“I once heard a grouty northern invalid say that a coconut tree might be poetical, possibly it was; but it looked like… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Look at this fog. The damp gets right into your bones. It's doing my chest no good at all. I'll need a… — Christopher Fowler Copy Share Image
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Most people have this tendency to make judgments on others based on preconceptions, especially when they are dealing with them for the… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to? Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one… — Toba Beta Copy Share Image
The essence of humor is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle… — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
“Cal: "I'm really sorry, Professor, but how do you explain these ? Swiss Cake Rolls. That doesn't rhyme; it's not cute; it's… — Brad Barkley Copy Share Image
“Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?' 'Not really.' Okay. 'Is there any point asking… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“I'm a writer. I'm a Christian. I like sex. But I haven't had it. I believe in waiting until marriage. But that… — Michelle N. Onuorah Copy Share Image
So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
