“Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
A lot of times in comedy, and also in podcasting and television, there are different kinds of voices that can be celebrated.… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
“It's so quiet and peaceful out here I'm getting bored with breathing. Maybe we'll get lucky and the world will go to… — Richard Kadrey Copy Share Image
“Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“..."There’s really no way I can explain it to her without *still* sounding like scum," I complained to Sinter. "The 'sympathy shack-up'… — Molly Ringle Copy Share Image
“Vanity might be a "sin" according to some lights, but he thought in measured doses it was one of life's allowable simple… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“For some the journey of highschool was probably pleasent or easy like swimming down a stream or walking down the street, but… — Elizabeth Rolph Copy Share Image
“These days, all I ask of Fate is that the people she hurls into my life, whether they are evil or good,… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?"… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“Says O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly," says I; "what can I do for you?" "Sell… — Jack London Copy Share Image
Although there have been witty big menOscar Wilde comes first to mindwit and humor seem more in the province of the smaller… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“And then to Leo’s surprise, Catherine smiled at him. A sweet, natural, brilliant smile, the first she had ever given him. Leo… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
I think probably the qualities that I look for in a man are somewhat different than they were before I became a… — Monica Lewinsky Copy Share Image
“What a nice neat deep trench,' I said. 'Er - should Nefret be down in it?' 'She thought she saw a skull,'… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
“The professor pointed out how he could drop a keel and a propeller into the water, in case he came down at… — Bertrand R. Brinley Copy Share Image
There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
“Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“Sorry, sorry, don’t mind me, coming through, oh why hello there—” This to a particularly handsome Kai look-alike droid, which had no… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
My TV comedy idols are the Charles brothers, who did 'Cheers;' Larry Gelbart, who did 'MASH;' and Larry David, who did 'Seinfeld.'… — Dan Schneider Copy Share Image
“To begin perfect happiness at the respective ages of twenty-six and eighteen, is to do pretty well; and professing myself moreover convinced,… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“Everyone, no matter what kind of job he or she has, fantasizes about freaking out at work. How many corporate drones, stuck… — Steve Dublanica Copy Share Image
I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“I couldn't find any straw to step upon, so I stepped upon more men. The resentment increased, so did my forward movement.… — Jack London Copy Share Image
I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
“Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Since moving to Valhalla, I'd learned an impressive number of Old Norse cusswords. Meinfretr translated as something like stinkfart, which was, naturally,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“As recently as 1950, the Scottish pathologist John Glaister included in his text the tale of a man "who was apprehended after… — E.J. Wagner Copy Share Image
“True love is jealousy in disguise: A man cannot restrict his lover from going to the club because he hates her, he… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedian. I loved comedy since I was a little kid, and while I was at university… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it is a more significant process of mind… — Edward de Bono Copy Share Image
I believe in irony. And if V-Day has taught me anything, it's that if you go out with artistic, outrageous irony and… — Eve Ensler Copy Share Image
“Ellen rose to her feet. Jack thought for a moment she was going to storm out. Instead, she picked up the pitcher… — Cinda Williams Chima Copy Share Image
“A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which you realize that you are trapped in a world almost… — Gene Weingarten Copy Share Image
“Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That… — J.A. Saare Copy Share Image
I'm happy to try any genre, from drama to comedy and anything in between. Although, to be fair, for most of my… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
