“It's also important to read the newspaper every day to see how the pope is doing. Here in Rome, the pope's health… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are." The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Look, we can definitively agree that cable is far superior to network. That isn't to say that there can't be a great… — Damon Lindelof Copy Share Image
“They have no sense of humour whatsoever – even Bunty has a sense of humour compared with our hosts. They have united… — Kate Atkinson Copy Share Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and .… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Cade thought about this. “Let me get this straight—you secretly pretend to like poetry to impress the smart girl in your English… — Julie James Copy Share Image
“I don't like him." Looking from Kale to Alex, Ginger said, "I don't like cabbage. Do you see me taking on the… — Jus Accardo Copy Share Image
I realized over the years if I'm writing about humor, irony, satire, I much prefer to do that in English. And if… — Elif Safak Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and… — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
“Verily, for nine hundred years have I lost. Everyone I knew is dead, the empire gone, and who knows in what state… — Michael J. Sullivan Copy Share Image
“Woman, you got a mouth on you." "It's not 1955 any longer. Women swear as much as men." "I miss women who… — Edie Ramer Copy Share Image
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
“I stretched as those three little words that every girl longs to hear slipped from his mouth with effortless ease. As though… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply.… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
“Wrath: look at how their folklore portrays our species. There's Dracula for Christ's sake, an evil bloodsucker who preys on the defenseless.… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“I AM ALL ABOUT SELF-DETERMINATION. Will. Control. I determine my path in life. I decide my failures and successes. Screw fate. Destiny… — Emma Chase Copy Share Image
“What is there," Owain wondered aloud, to the sky above him and the soil below, "persuades this man still that my words… — Edith Pargeter Copy Share Image
“Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step… — Weston Locher Copy Share Image
“As the author of Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda - True Stories from a Sharm el Sheikh Scuba Diving Instructor, I know a… — John Kean Copy Share Image
“Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and… — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
My favorite work is The Full Monty because I got an Oscar for it. But it was really hard work at the… — Anne Dudley Copy Share Image
“... the story of my marriage, which is the great joy and astonishment of my life, is too much like a fairy… — Ann Patchett Copy Share Image
“The only thing I remember about him now is that he shaved his legs. I was surprised at how much I dug… — Tiffanie DeBartolo Copy Share Image
We had a Judeo-Christian ethic hanging around a couple thousand years that didn't help erase racism at all. So the notion of… — Norman Lear Copy Share Image
“The case was becoming serious. It was now past midnight. The hotels at Shiplake and Henley would be crammed; and we could… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“As rain began to fall, Aldric worried the old machines would not be able to survive the weather. "Hand me that oil… — Jason Hightman Copy Share Image
“I was really putting a lot of pressure on this beer prop; it was going to distract me enough so that I… — Jessica Fortunato Copy Share Image
“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm going to keep doing the comedy and the art that I do. I'm going to keep uplifting marginalized voices, and I… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
We've progressed well beyond the four humors in the two thousand-odd years since Hippocrates, but we still haven't satisfied the urge to… — Maria Konnikova Copy Share Image
“Here.” He spread his legs wider and patted the floor between them. “You’ll be warmer, and I promise I won’t grope you… — Meg Maguire Copy Share Image
“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn".… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Nobody think about that broken heart... life goes on, broken heart never join together but it tries very hard to get joined… — Shahid Islam Copy Share Image
Seriousness is the refuge of the shallow. There are events and personal experiences that call forth seriousness but they are fewer than… — Rita Mae Brown Copy Share Image
“ Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“If this had been a public-school locker room, there would have been some gray jumbo-sized garbage cans nearby, and I probably could've… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a… — Dora J. Arod Copy Share Image
![“The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When monsoons or cyclones were encountered, the pilots had no choice but to put on the seat belt signs and bounce through them. Even in normal conditions they flew at a…” quote by Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/854/bill-bryson-340_flew_the-super-constellations-took-three-days_2266718.jpg)
