“I’ll give you a hint,” the woman said with a smile that held no friendliness at all. “You’ve slept with my husband.”… — Tiffany Reisz Copy Share Image
“A saying on an art piece prompted me to use the term seasoned citizen instead of senior citizen: 'I'm no longer a… — Janis Clark Johnston Copy Share Image
I choose my actors well and get to know the quirks of their personalities - and, most of all, I share humor… — George Cukor Copy Share Image
“By seeing the way a joke worked in the horseplay of a printing shop two centuries ago, we may be able to… — Robert Darnton Copy Share Image
“At times Valentine wasn't sure whether he kept Matthews about because of his supreme unctuousness or because he had half a suspicion… — Suzanne Enoch Copy Share Image
“Now, there are things I like just fine about church, and I don’t just mean making money. The notion of getting together… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I see people's need to dream, people's need to escape - you see it! That's why people come to comedy shows, that's… — David Copperfield Copy Share Image
Comedy is one of the few places in entertainment at present where it's good for women to be, as no one is… — Roisin Conaty Copy Share Image
Feminist humor raises consciousness. And the reason it's funny is because it stands something on its head. Goodness knows you've got to… — Eleanor Smeal Copy Share Image
“Bravo," said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom's chest. "The Winter prince and Oberon's jester agreeing on something. The world must be… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“There was nothing to tempt me from the choice of desserts, so I opted instead for a coffee, which was bitter and… — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
“Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings...Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I'm very interested in trying to make comedy shows that are a bit bigger, more theatrical, more of a "show." Some people… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“There is an unspoken pact between best friends that stipulates the following: To induce laughter, all you have to do is look… — Gina Marinello-Sweeney Copy Share Image
One thing I'm a big fan of is the theater of the absurd. That's what I come from, that's what I love… — Michael Shannon Copy Share Image
I look at the stars and I see you, I look at the moon and I see you. I look at the… — Anonymous Authors Copy Share Image
I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Does it occur to you that if he set his mind to it, Steve could be a truly excellent supervillain?” Clint said… — scifigrl47 Copy Share Image
“Lottie did everything the old fashioned way, including the bookkeeping, which was fine with me since I knew nothing about accounting software… — Kate Collins Copy Share Image
“I did get so wigged out that I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
When you do comedy, the audience is not your boss. They are your collaborators and when you collaborate with someone you don't… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
It's so easy as a child to identify with 'Winnie-the-Pooh.' The humour doesn't talk down at you. It's a very grown up… — Jim Broadbent Copy Share Image
I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Although initially only few in numbers, it seems my gray hairs have launched an effective peer-pressure campaign intended to convert the others.” — Steve Maraboli Copy Share Image
There are no normal people, there are just different kinds of weird, all of it is human and all humanity is better… — Dan Harmon Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do comedy again. It is way harder when you are doing comedy. You can't just concentrate on the… — Patricia Richardson Copy Share Image
“I have attempted to give you a glimpse... of what there may be of soul in chemistry. But it may have been… — G.N.Lewis Copy Share Image
There are so many different ways of making people laugh and sometimes you sit down to watch something that everyone says is… — Limmy Copy Share Image
“Gwynned lies two days westwards; still further south, the weregeld calls. Mayhap with All-Father Woden's favour, my deeds may yet inspire the… — Byron Copy Share Image
“He leaned in for a sniff. 'Smells like a horse's arse! I've got Ian!' -'No sniffing allowed! We never discussed sniffing! I… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
“One of my book-reading friends used the term "our story unfolds" when describing a paper he was writing. He became somewhat less… — Tommy Greenwald Copy Share Image
Tohru: "Call a doctor, or a vet, or something! Mr. Postman! It's terrible! You see?! They're animals!" Mailman: "Well, uh, yes, they… — Natsuki Takaya Copy Share Image
“I'm afraid I'm a practical man,' said the doctor with gruff humour, 'and I don't bother much about religion and philosophy.' 'You'll… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Learn as much as you can about performing. Live theater, improv classes, music, stand up comedy, dance, anything to make yourself confident… — Rob Paulsen Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, Lisa pulled her face out of the water and her legs started flailing, the long flippers on her feet dropping so… — Elle Rush Copy Share Image
I'd love to, she finally said,"on one condition." I steadied myself, hoping it wasn't something too awful. "Yes?" "You have to promise… — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
![“So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2a/bill-hicks-970_crime_so-i-m-over-there-in-england-you-know-tr_1554550.jpg)
