“I had concocted the gunpowder myself from niter, sulfur, charcoal, and a happy heart. When working with explosives, I've found that attitude… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
“When we were kids the coolest dinosaur in world was the brontosaurus, which means 'THUNDERLIZARD'. But it turns out brontosaurs isn't even… — John Green Copy Share Image
Don't take yourself too seriously. It just makes life all the harder. It'll all come out in the wash anyway, because God's… — Luci Swindoll Copy Share Image
At the same time, we can't blame comedians for taking time to learn. Any critic of comedy who believes that he has… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
“I wondered if full-blooded vampires had something like blue balls for their fangs if they didn’t get to feed when they were… — Sierra Dean Copy Share Image
“What? It’s not my blood!” “Let me see it,” Julian demanded, and a moment later there were sounds of a scuffle from… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“You love SITUATION COMEDIES, whilst holding particular affection for MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN. You know, your FOXWORTHIES, your FUNKES, your SWANSONS, but not necessarily… — Andrew Hussie Copy Share Image
“Do you come here often?' I ask. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I cringe. Way to go,… — Mila Gray Copy Share Image
“CREONTA: Rope! My rope! Hang those two thieves by the neck until they are dead. THE ROPE: Alack, but vile and ill-natured… — Hillary DePiano Copy Share Image
“I used to ask myself, ‘Sergei, would you rather spend your money on drink or women?’ and thanks to the club, I… — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
“Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out… — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
“What was it you called me? Hell’s overlord who wields his lucky pen like it’s… what was that last part?” Enough! Elise’s… — Elijana Kindel Copy Share Image
“I’m not interested in teaching books by women... Usually at the beginning of the semester a hand shoots up and someone asks… — David Gilmour Copy Share Image
I love comedy. There's just something so great about making people laugh. And for me, too, whenever I laugh, it just makes… — Stefanie Scott Copy Share Image
“I'm running late, but there's always time to scribble weird messages in guest signage books. Also, am I really late? The Catholic… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
“… A wonderful collection of truths, and almost all are inconvenient’. ‘… Something here to offend everyone’. ‘… Everything from burlesque to… — Patrick Brislan Copy Share Image
“She snores, she talks too god damn much, and she tries to cuddle.” John visibly shivers at that, so I nod and… — Katelin LaMontagne Copy Share Image
“It's all the rage. Billionaire Doms. Kink. All that stuff. But they just like the fantasy of it. Tie a girl up… — C.M. Owens Copy Share Image
I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while.… — Gene Wilder Copy Share Image
“Man craves joy far more than anything else in life, but there is nothing as madly intoxicating as the feeling of joy… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
It's your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don't take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can… — Betty White Copy Share Image
. . .a sense of humor can be a great help-particularly a sense of humor about (oneself). William Howard Taft joked about… — Dwight D. Eisenhower Copy Share Image
“I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“Don't love the person by seeing their success, instead of love the person by observing their good behavior, character, personality, nature, disposition,… — Z.H.Choudhury Copy Share Image
“There were a lot of terms you had to learn, as opposed to the shylock business where all you had to know… — Elmore Leonard Copy Share Image
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers,… — Malcolm Muggeridge Copy Share Image
“He left as silently as he'd come. Pierre LaManche favored crepe-soled shoes, kept his pockets empty so nothing jangled or swished. Like… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“The thing is, Fallon . . . I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out.… — Penelope Douglas Copy Share Image
It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
I've always felt that there's a lot of similarity between doing a comedy and doing a scary movie because jokes and scares… — Paul W. S. Anderson Copy Share Image
A favorite film of mine is 'Office Space' and I love 'The Hangover.' That is a really good comedy from character in… — Seth Gordon Copy Share Image
I've been a musician and a songwriter for years, since I was a teenager, and made my living doing that on and… — Rachel Parris Copy Share Image
When I was little, I had this old video camera, and I set it up, and I would pretend that I was… — Christina Grimmie Copy Share Image
“Oh Blimey O‘Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
“Dandy," Martin replied, once again pleased with his response. A girl can make a guy feel good, great, and even fabulous, but… — Matthew Dicks Copy Share Image
Let me assure you that the humourless as a bunch don't just not know what's funny, they don't know what's serious. They… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
Netflix did it right and focused on all the things that have replaced the dumb, raw numbers of the Nielsen world -… — Kevin Spacey Copy Share Image
“His Grace woke up in the morning red-eyed as a ferret and in roughly the same temper as a rabid badger. Had… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
