“There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose. I also… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I listen to a lot of rap where men talk a certain way about women and I'm not offended. It's meant to… — Kesha Copy Share Image
“YOU ARE NOT AFRAID? 'Not yet. But, er...which way to the egress, please?' There was a pause. Then Death said, in a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Alex sat playing with the remote, turning it over in his hand. A long moment passed, and then he cleared his throat."Look...… — L. A. Weatherly Copy Share Image
The thing about stand-ups is you can't really get good unless you're failing in front of a large number of people. That… — David Steinberg Copy Share Image
“His eyes locked on hers, all signs of humor vanished. He stared as if he could read her mind. She wondered if… — Robin Kaye Copy Share Image
We [people] may enjoy this fleeting beauty [of life] for such a brief instance. And then we are compost. G - ,… — Sam Keen Copy Share Image
“I quietly cast camouflage on myself, which is the nearest I can come to invisibility. It binds my pigment to my surroundings,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Most of my films - if you look at the tone, apart from 'Shadows,' which is straight-up comedy - the tone is… — Taika Waititi Copy Share Image
When they first start doing comedy, new comics or even people that have only been doing it three or four years, they're… — Erik Griffin Copy Share Image
“Nightmares did come true. Because, after her second night of major loving with the man of her dreams, the absolute last person… — Alisha Rai Copy Share Image
“Prove to me that you are not a figment of my imagination. Am I a computer simulation? Does the door swing both… — Jessica Park Copy Share Image
“Rob turned the rustling pages and grinned. 'Ach, she's writ here: "Oh, the dear Feegles ha' turned up again,"' he said. This… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Throughout my training we always had a mantra; They come first. If I had really and truly screwed up my future, I'd… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
It's about reacting to what you see, hopefully without preconception. You can find pictures anywhere. It's simply a matter of noticing things… — Elliott Erwitt Copy Share Image
“The point I was trying to make before you interrupted with your inventory of my personality is that neither of us is… — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
“Lissianna said, smacking Thomas in the arm. “What were you thinking? They don’t waltz here.” “I was thinking I didn’t want my… — Lynsay Sands Copy Share Image
Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There's a very mean girl down the hall who's trying to get me fired. I'm no good with confrontation, so whenever I… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“...it was vowed that there would never be a charge made for entering said Park. It was a gentleman's agreement. But most… — Jacob Clifford Moomaw Copy Share Image
Shake It Up is a buddy comedy based around dance. It's about two best friends Rocky and CeCe who live out their… — Zendaya Copy Share Image
You don't buy into huge car chases or sensates or interstellar warfare, but you can buy into a loving relationship or a… — J. Michael Straczynski Copy Share Image
“Mom: ''You could have neon green hair, and it wouldn't take away how beautiful you are,'' she said Clara: ''You're my mother.… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
This sentimental comedy by the Soviet playwright Aleksei Arbuzov is said to have had a great success in its own country. So… — Richard Eder Copy Share Image
“How upset is she?” “Let me put it this way,” his brother began, “All the shit you’ve shoveled from stalls in your… — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
“The thing about teen idol," Louisa is saying, "is he morphs through time. The boys' faces and names change, but the emotional… — Allison Pearson Copy Share Image
“Teachers were not allowed to beat children as they did in the past, although, Mma Ramotswe reflected, there were some boys-and indeed… — Alexander McCall Smith Copy Share Image
Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor.… — Florence King Copy Share Image
“My eyes are not sparkly! I’m not a sparkly sort of girl … I go around with dirty knees and slay dragons… — Marc Secchia Copy Share Image
“Having a dick is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. How many people are eaten by sharks each year?… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
“You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don’t you?” I shook my head with a smirk. He just… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
“[At first, Calvin's at school, in his classroom.] CALVIN'S TEACHER: "We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“There was a black marine called Philly Dog who'd been a gang lord in Philadelphia and who was looking forward to some… — Michael Herr Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think comedy is a good way to help people change their minds. I think that if you're laughing and getting a… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
“I was playing a new part in a new play: the messed-up adult child coming home in a truly pitiful state in… — Inna Swinton Copy Share Image
“Stubborn people make the best lovers. You tell them no, they say yes, you tell them get lost, they hang around, you… — Benjamin Smith Copy Share Image
If Bob Dylan really is an historian in and of himself in his work, in his performances, he is also an historian… — Greil Marcus Copy Share Image
“Hampden College, as a body, was always strangely prone to hysteria. Whether from isolation, malice, or simple boredom, people there were far… — Donna Tartt Copy Share Image