You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“When someone says, 'I admire your character,' I never know whether the person is talking about my ethics or referring to someone… — Stifyn Emrys Copy Share Image
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Hazel, do you enjoy it?' I paused a second, trying to figure out if my response should be calibrated to please Augustus… — John Green Copy Share Image
Obviously, it's the Lucille Balls of the world who helped make humor accessible to women and in a voice that women related… — Erin Foster Copy Share Image
“If I could fly, I would soar all the way up to the window of a plane carrying a suitcase in my… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
“I've had the immense pleasure of knowing Thaddeus for over 4 years now. In that time I have experienced his incredible powers… — Derek Hart Copy Share Image
“Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked. “This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
What then remains, but well our power to use, And keep good-humor still whate'er we lose? And trust me, dear, good-humor can… — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
“Shock? More like shellshock at this point. Blondie knew I was gay, yet he was a Company Exec or else he wouldn’t… — Rie Warren Copy Share Image
I can't do comedy that is cutting and vicious. If I knew I'd said something that was going to make someone feel… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
“It would be, like all of Pammy's parties, hot and crowded and filled with impossibly glamorous people with hip bones so sharp… — Lauren Willig Copy Share Image
“There are four on whose pots the Holy One, blessed he, knocked, only to find them filled with piss, and these are… — Shuli Barzilai Copy Share Image
“I am often slow in catching up to the times, but even so, I still cannot even grip this idea: With nothing… — Gabrielle Hamilton Copy Share Image
“I glance around the room. What a comedy! All these people sitting there, looking serious, eating. No, they aren't eating: they are… — Jean-Paul Sartre Copy Share Image
“You can tell a lot about a country by its prisons. In hippy-dippy Socialist Sweden, rapists and murders (all three of them)… — Maureen Klovers Copy Share Image
“She was a bitch,' Carl suddenly heard somebody say in the background, and that apparently refreshed everyone's memory. Yes, thought Carl with… — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
“Yeah, Pudge is adorable / but you want incorrigible / so Jake is more endurable / 'cause he's so - damn. Damn.… — John Green Copy Share Image
When I look at comedy, it's all self-expression. I apply that same method to my music. I came up listening to N.W.A… — Kendrick Lamar Copy Share Image
“I’m sorry,” she said, wishing she could say something more meaningful. “I’m not. If he’d been a good uncle, I’d have stayed… — Angie Frazier Copy Share Image
That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“She described to us six lanes' worth of unadulterated fear, populated exclusively by motorists whose driving education had been paid for by… — Jeff Deck Copy Share Image
But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all… — Thomas Haden Church Copy Share Image
“ The middle son gets a magic donkey. When you shout the word: "Bricklebrit!", it spews gold pieces out of... And I… — Sarah Beth Durst Copy Share Image
“Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with is" Sure" said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“If my story means anything, it is that people are very often too quick to judge a person by the way they… — Susan Boyle Copy Share Image
I don't have hard numbers about this, but the impression I get is that the amount of eyeballs you get from being… — Randall Munroe Copy Share Image
“It was Will, filling the doorway with his lanky, broad-shouldred frame. His blue eyes where thunderous. "What are you doing here?" he… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“My mouth fell open. I wasn‘t used to receiving practical advice from Giguhl. But the weird thing? He was totally right. ―When‘d… — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
After the comedy boom of the '80s, there was a certain formula that comedians had to do and could do in order… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Remember that every guilty compliance with the humors of the world, every sinful indulgence of our own passions, is laying up cares… — Reginald Heber Copy Share Image
“God, that was nice. I wanted him to use that finger to touch me other places. Dirty, dirty places. Well, not dirty… — Laurel Ulen Curtis Copy Share Image
“When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop… — Michael Thomas Ford Copy Share Image
“Going to fetch Uncle Analdas. Have you been by the Hill?" Just left there," Robin answered. "Everybody's excited. Seems there's new Folks… — Robert Lawson Copy Share Image
Let no one mistake it for comedy, farcical though it may be in all its details. It serves notice on the country… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Audrey, how exactly have yo been entertaining?" "Um... I gave Mickey a reading." "I thought we were sticking with Wyle," he said.… — Bethany Frenette Copy Share Image
“His hair, at first glance, appears merely dark, but upon closer inspection is actually many strands of chestnut brown, gold, and black.… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
When you do a drama, you are challenged to trust your inner voice much more. Because when you put a comedy in… — Shawn Levy Copy Share Image
