If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, thats just what Ill do. Its this kind of regard for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To the attention of the New Fiddleham Police Department: You've got my middle-C, and I would like it back. ... Please return… — William Ritter Copy Share Image
I love the idea of doing comedy, whether it's action comedy or just straight comedy. It's such a big, new world for… — Zoe Bell Copy Share Image
“The comedy in our lives was those first few weeks we lived together in Paris: Our bodies desired one another, our souls… — Roman Payne Copy Share Image
Sometimes you're not getting the laughs you want or at the place you want but that doesn't mean it's not funny. It… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
I wasn't very good in my serious acting class. Sometimes people took our class so seriously, so I used to, sort of,… — Jennifer Coolidge Copy Share Image
“Maybe I didn't try as hard as I ought when he started calling you names. Serves him right, the nasty old turd.… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
“Off course, if Steven had a wife in the attic, like Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre, that, I thought, would be another… — Lisa Tucker Copy Share Image
“Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and… — Nicole McKay Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We went to the store cupboard to make out, but we ended up sharing… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
“Henry flopped onto his bed, and his steam leaked slowly out. He began telling himself a story in his head. It was… — N.D. Wilson Copy Share Image
“No, little one, George's ghost won't come back. Human beings don't have souls. No soul, no ghost. Simple." "How can you say… — Leonie Swann Copy Share Image
If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize… — Paul Harvey Copy Share Image
“Santino, come here. What's the matter with you? I think your brain is going soft with all that comedy you are playing… — Mario Puzo Copy Share Image
“He always has a joke to tell or is doing something so seriously ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh at him.… — Belle Aurora Copy Share Image
The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
“Trolls have 5,400 words for rocks and one for vegetation. "Oograah" means everything from moss to giant redwoods. The way trolls see… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Kools never did get along with partners. He once stabbed a fella over whose turn it was to drive. Kools says I… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“There is something stunningly narrow about how the Anthropic Principle is phrased. Yes, only certain laws and constants of nature are consistent… — Carl Sagan Copy Share Image
“I went to watch the Buzkasgu game taking place on a series of fields - some fallow, some plowed and planted- just… — Rory Stewart Copy Share Image
“He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit. Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently.… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“(Parody that is often falsely believed to be a true quote of Mariah Carey's) Whenever I watch TV and see those poor… — Mad Magazine Editors Copy Share Image
“Had Stella been named anything else, and/or had we lived in any other city besides New Orleans, my desperate call would have… — Jonathan Miles Copy Share Image
“Of course we will send postcards to Nutsawoo. And we shall bring him back a present as well. In fact,' she went… — Maryrose Wood Copy Share Image
It's tough making people laugh, as we have so much going on in our lives. We forget to see humour as part… — Kirti Kulhari Copy Share Image
“What is the secret of life?’ I asked. ‘I forget,’ said Sandra. ‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“A loud, purposeful knock on the front door froze him in place with his fist over the fabric. “Hey, dude, it’s me.… — Kimberly Kincaid Copy Share Image
I have plenty of dream roles because there is so much I want to do, but my dream year would be to… — Katie Featherston Copy Share Image
I think that London is very much like that. I find there's humour in the air and people are interesting. And I… — Colin Firth Copy Share Image
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Glitter and streamers of light swirled around us, and a chorus of tiny voices sang out a single note. I winced, knowing… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
“Answer me this, if your TV wasn’t broken in the first place then why do you need a new one? If your… — Harken Headers Copy Share Image
“Religion forces every individual to take responsibility. Specifically, take it away from yourself and give it to God. If we had to… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
But, sooner or later I'd love to do a comedy. I mean I think that, you know, people don't think that that's… — Matthew Fox Copy Share Image
It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
“Petey Samson gave the ladies an over-the-shoulder glance. He realized no doggie treat was forthcoming, even from Isabel who was usually the… — Ed Lynskey Copy Share Image
In the best traditions of American comedy, from its beginnings through the crash-bang comedies of the 1990s and 2000s, Leslie Nielsen skewered… — Tom Shales Copy Share Image
“What are you doing?” he gasped. He looked slightly ridiculous. It was not as if he was a defenseless damsel in distress.… — Boris Brannigan Copy Share Image
