“Don’t be so concerned,” he whispered. “We will get through this, I promise.” “What makes you so certain?” I couldn’t help my… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
“We can get you a throne with snakes. I’ll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
What is the sound of one hand clapping? What is the weight of a single grain of sand? The answer is equal… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
“Around young, beautiful, fat women, I am generally thrown into confusion. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because an image of their… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
“Will watched her go with regret. His attraction to the dark-haired lady with her execrable embroidery had taken him by surprise. She'd… — Eve Edwards Copy Share Image
“Aren‘t you going to get up?" He put a hand on the curve of her hip, a possessive gesture that had already… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
I think it would be so fun to do some kind of comedy, something - I'm not exactly sure, but something like… — Eva Mendes Copy Share Image
“No, Lucius is harmless,' I fibbed. If you don't count the fact that he thinks he's a warrior prince representing a semi-cannibalistic… — Beth Fantaskey Copy Share Image
“I stopped at a red light, turned my head, and allowed myself to enjoy the handsomeness that was Brent. He noticed my… — Lani Woodland Copy Share Image
“She watched the woman around her. Most of them undulated like strippers or ground their arses into the men dancing behind them.… — Michele Gorman Copy Share Image
I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it,… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
“Have you had unprotected gay sex?" This time he got a snort and a laugh. "I ain‘t no butt pirate." Roan felt… — Andrea Speed Copy Share Image
Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity.… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“You know how before you buy a house you hire someone to come check it out and write a homebuyer's report? Someone… — Richard Paul Evans Copy Share Image
Just keep making comedy. Make it all the time whether it's your job or not. Consider it like you are already working… — Megan Ganz Copy Share Image
“How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
“I am so glad Todd and I eloped,” she said sincerely. “There was no way to salvage the wreckage. But I think… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“An as-yet-unpublished poet in Boulder, Colorado, once said to me that anything worth doing was worth doing badly. I may seem, in… — Joanna Russ Copy Share Image
Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When we go to see comedians or funny movies, they don't address the wall behind them; they face us. This is why… — Doug TenNapel Copy Share Image
In 'Bojack,' at least at first, we had to couch some of the sadder or weirder or introspective stuff we were doing… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
“His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Mmm, butt bagels." Elody reaches into the bag and pulls out a bagel, half squashed, then makes a big deal of taking… — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
“It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight,' an example of PLEASE— Pretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym,… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
“Ready for the big Day of Tolerance?" she asks. "Are you kidding?" I ask. "I'd rather poke my eyes out with dull… — A. S. King Copy Share Image
“He looked down at me, all heat and cinnamon-musk and midnight smirk. “Was there trouble?” Nope. Not unless you count being terminally… — Jessie Hart Copy Share Image
“When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many… — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is a lousy fiction writer because her writing… — Theodore Sturgeon Copy Share Image
“I briefly considered getting a cat, but then decided against it because I didn’t want to be one of those people. You… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Wow wow wow is all I can say! Remember how I always buy lunchtime Scratch-Off ticket? Have I said? Maybe did not… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I came into the 'Comedy Bang! Bang!' TV show with a level of confidence that I don't think I would've had if… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
A lot of people don't see me as a funny character because I don't usually get to play them. I'm usually cast… — Angie Harmon Copy Share Image
“There were no windows in my bedroom, so I had to sit up and read my clock to figure out how angry… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
'Zorn' goes to some pretty ridiculous places, but the real comedy is coming from these little observations about life that are not… — Phil Lord Copy Share Image
I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down,… — Shannon Lyndsy Copy Share Image
