I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Shoving the ends at him, I headed for the common. It wasn't far away: a green, tree-lined oasis, brightened with many seasonal… — Elizabeth Young Copy Share Image
Comedy was something I picked up trying to perfect my art through spoken word. I got on YouTube just to show off… — Spoken Reasons Copy Share Image
“ 'We're not... we haven't been writing poetry and sprinkling rose petals and tripping hand in hand under rainbows, Kay.' 'Just because… — Kim Fielding Copy Share Image
“Even if you are eighty years old, or a lesbian, or a strident feminist, or a nun, or an eighty-year-old strident feminist… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work.… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
“As it is, I guess I find "Jack and Diane" a little disgusting. As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
“I can't say for sure if I'm better off, since I have no way of knowing what would have been. I could… — Anna White Copy Share Image
If any man, out of an humour, should turn all his Estate into Money, and keep it dead, he would soon be… — Dudley North Copy Share Image
The people in Miami are so different from anywhere else I've been in America. They're so down to earth, really friendly, and… — Tracey Emin Copy Share Image
I divorce myself from listeners who aren't tolerant of humor. I did notice universally that, especially when it comes to weight, people… — Ben Folds Copy Share Image
“...And a cool four thousand, Pip!" I never discovered from whom Joe derived the conventional temperature of the four thousand pounds, but… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Her name is Brienne," Jaime said. "Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?" Her broad homely face turned… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“Any writer of horror needs to at least have a good, solid love of the genre. Also, good horror writers need to… — Alistair Cross Copy Share Image
“I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat… — Cormac McCarthy Copy Share Image
My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“When I get back to my dorm room, there it is, staring at me from above my bed. The Vladimir Putin calendar.… — Andrea Portes Copy Share Image
“I was finally convinced of something I had suspected for a long time: God has a sense of humor, and because the… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
I can't do jokes. I've always come from left field and tried to subvert conventional comedy. I started as a rebellion against… — Julian Barratt Copy Share Image
“But nowhere in the file had anyone said, “Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction.”… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
I never write anything without humor, just because I like humor, but at the same time, it is a way for anything… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
People say, 'When are you going to do serious stuff?' I look at them as though they were crazy. My serious stuff… — Walter Matthau Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went from an unemployed actor's life to doing stand-up comedy, and that was fortuitous. It's not the usual way the crow… — Catherine Tate Copy Share Image
“Are you that afraid of being wrong? One would assume you’d be accustomed to it by now.” He grunted. “Be careful, girl.… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Hanni, I’m going to have to watch you carefully. You may break a lot of hearts in London.” “What am I to… — Rhys Bowen Copy Share Image
Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the… — Bruce Campbell Copy Share Image
“Only men who have crouched in the trenches under heavy machine gun fire, and then rose as one to charge the perceived… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
It's a really unique job that is a little schizophrenic and you have to kind of do it with a sense of… — Ethan Hawke Copy Share Image
Sad music, I always thought, is more beautiful than other music. But at the same time, I am in my personal life… — Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu Copy Share Image
“But see? Then you got all human on me the other night, and it's official. I'm there, Henry. I'm...I'm ready for the… — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
“His head tilted to the side and humor twinkled in his dark eyes. "Turn yer back." 'Are you shy? What's wrong, big… — Vonnie Davis Copy Share Image
I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Grigorii spared a single glance in his brother’s direction. If looks were daggers, that one would’ve sliced straight through the volhv’s heart.… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“I've already seen what you've got," Liz said, completely out of patience. "Now gimme my wine." "It's not that. I want to… — Kylie Gilmore Copy Share Image
If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the… — Robert Webb Copy Share Image
“After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up. Of course,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“The back door popped open, and Claire, fairy wings all a-flutter, pulled Miranda inside. It was like a military operation, only with… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image