Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be… — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
“Um. Ways in which a sentence beginning with the word "missiles" could be a good thing... Nope. I got nuthin'.” — Dennis E. Taylor Copy Share Image
“I’ll steal bodies, not to be Corporal Corpse, but to have access to a never-ending supply of laughter still left over in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What a slacker. Just because daddy paid for his college education, he thinks he can avoid dying for his country." -- Willie… — Rich Allan Copy Share Image
“If you want to be a radical theologian, you have to be able to say, “I have no idea what is going… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
The best types of laughter: 1) Laughing so hard it becomes silent. 2) You feel a six pack coming on. 3) Tears… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Normal… What the majority of people look, act, and talk and like. So what if the majority became what we see as… — Catherine Copy Share Image
“Not many performers are equally at home in drama and comedy; Claudette Colbert was one of those few. It’s hard to decide… — Eve Golden Copy Share Image
I used to think of myself as a comedian. I've always admired comedians. Their minds, the way in which they se the… — Al Pacino Copy Share Image
As someone who's been doing a lot of classical theater recently, I loved the idea of getting to run around in Steven… — Lily Rabe Copy Share Image
Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!"… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Oh, well, that's not bad, I suppose. I mean, I'd prefer devastatingly sophisticated - but almost endearing is more than I could… — Jane Costello Copy Share Image
If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad,… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
“Rich in Happiness is about choosing new perspectives, new habits, and a new emotional future.” — Alex J Kim Copy Share Image
“Luc let out a strangled, hoarse laugh. "Oh shit. ET so phoned home, kids.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I'd like to do a romantic comedy like 'Notting Hill,' which is one of my favorite movies. — Rutina Wesley Copy Share Image
Comedy is my first love; that's my main goal in life - to keep doing comedy. — Lauren Lapkus Copy Share Image
“The big one was at least cute, and as annoying as she was, you couldn't get mad at a golden retriever.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Unaware that he is only interested in the presumed parched pucker in her pants, she is more than happy to give him… — Curtis Ackie Copy Share Image
“Nasil and Owen transport organs for transplant these days—and deliver takeout." "I hope they don't get those mixed up.” — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“There's a time and a place for everything.”...Yes. This is my time and you are in my place.” — Poppet Copy Share Image
“Smartass Disciple: How the hell do we find the truth ? Master of Stupidity: Just seek it with hope it’ll find you.” — Toba Beta Copy Share Image
Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
He who laughs last thinks slowest? How do you know he isn't laughing first??? — John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic Copy Share Image
“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?” — Terry Johnson Copy Share Image
Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity. — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
Within any drama in anyone's life, there's always a way to find the humor in it. Without humor no one cares about… — Elizabeth Reaser Copy Share Image
“Who cares? My balls are wet! The city is going to shit and you guys are yapping about this crap, as if… — Jason Medina Copy Share Image
“I write what I want to read. If I were to write what I know, I'd be staring at a blank page… — R.J. Dennis Copy Share Image
They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“Intelligence is not found when you have a plan, rather it's measured when you have no clue what you're doing.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
To me, in life, if you have a sense of humor about it, that's how you deal with anything. — Ralph Macchio Copy Share Image
“Perhaps her giant bright-eyed sister had finally come to put her out of her misery just when things had gotten interesting.” — Alethea Kontis Copy Share Image
“A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
