“The bonds of friendship dwindle with age, Oliver. But a little blackmail lasts forever.” — Stephen Hunt Copy Share Image
“As for your back rubs... Study an anatomy book, pal, because what you've been rubbing isn't my back.” — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
“Do you know about Thor's Hammer? (Points to Bicep) Well, that's it right here.” — Peter Charles Melman Copy Share Image
I would love to do some more comedy. I would love to do some silliness. I would love to do some characters… — Kari Matchett Copy Share Image
Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome. — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
The experienced pastor will recognize to which situation humor belongs and to which belongs sobriety. — Thomas Oden Copy Share Image
“Solomon had a good thing going. He asked for wisdom and he got it, riches, and power. I think I'm going to… — Jochebed Gwamna Copy Share Image
“...doing the smoker's comedy act: he hunted automatically for an ashtray, didn't find one, tipped his ashes into the palm of his… — Patricia Nell Warren Copy Share Image
“The next day Georgia left for school before I even got to the breakfast table. From behind his newspaper, Papy asked tiredly,… — Amy Plum Copy Share Image
“One of the study's authors, Dr. Lee Berk, is actually a humor researcher because, when you get right down to it, laughter… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He looked up as the party emerged and nickered a soft hello to his master, who was dressed in an unfamiliar green… — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
“Not only can I teach you math, I can teach you math in bed, Jordan. You know, I'll add the bed, you… — miranda kenneally Copy Share Image
“I know a man who drives 600 yards to work. I know a woman who gets in her car to go a… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
If you can appeal to another person's sense of humor, you can introduce ideas, thoughts, things that they may disagree with or… — Rocky Carroll Copy Share Image
“You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.'' ''Compatibility is for my… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. — Thomas Friedman Copy Share Image
“As a general rule, librarians are a kick in the pants socially, often full of good humor, progressive, and, naturally, well read” — Bill Hall Copy Share Image
I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination. — James Acaster Copy Share Image
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says 'Trust me, you dont want to know.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Want to scare every guy you know this Halloween? Dress as a replacement ref. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change? — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“What is that *smell*?" Eliot shook his head. "I keep telling you, it's fresh air.” — Keith R.A. DeCandido Copy Share Image
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
“What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“When I came out of anesthesia, I wanted two things: my husband and my dog. They wouldn't let the dog in the… — Sandy Nathan Copy Share Image
A good-humored wife who appreciates most, if not all, of my humor - her price is far above rubies, as the book… — Andrew Hudgins Copy Share Image
“Isn't that funny, that deity is passe but the attributes and implications of deity linger--” — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
Plus, humor ws a good way to hide the pain. And if that didn't work, there was always Plan B. Run aaway.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming. — Alanis Morissette Copy Share Image
“There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten… — Chelsea M. Cameron Copy Share Image
“What on earth do they hope to achieve by that, demonstrations never achieve anything, if they did, we wouldn't allow them.” — José Saramago Copy Share Image
Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not… — Julianne Moore Copy Share Image
When you come right down to it, the secret to having it all is loving it all. — Joyce Brothers Copy Share Image
I like my psychiatrist she's kind, caring and compassionate but what woman wouldn't be for over a 100 dollars an hour? — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I was good in comedy so I started getting such roles but as an actor you don't like to do same type… — Satish Kaushik Copy Share Image
