“Thank God she doesn't have to be confirmed by the Senate. (on the birth of his granddaughter)” — Herbert Hoover Copy Share Image
Why is it easier for some people to believe their ancestors were a clump of mud and a cannibalized body part, than… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“Sit up, and no whining." "I don't whine." "Rarely," he agreed. But when you do, you make up for the lack of… — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
'What About Bob' is my all-time favorite, and I think I've always been prone to comedy. — Lana Copy Share Image
“For Aaron, looking like a skeleton was very much for life, not just for Halloween” — Kestral M. Gaian Copy Share Image
“How does it work? I have no idea. It may have something to do with trusting the process of your life totally.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
My goal is to always try to make you feel something, whether that's humor or sadness or excitement, and to try to… — Genndy Tartakovsky Copy Share Image
“Collin! What a gorgeous name. Then again his name could have been Cracker Jack and I would have thought it was just… — Nicole Gulla Copy Share Image
People want to complain... my point especially when it comes to racial humor is... we have that diversity, so I don't look… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
“Such frankness, even over good tidings, was a further offense to Mr. Fremlin. He felt that it was casual and indecent. Like… — Dennis Parry Copy Share Image
The staff at Buckingham Palace are amazing. They are so quintessentially British in their comedy. Like sort of going 'Welcome to the… — Sam Ryder Copy Share Image
“I naively believe that self-love is 80 percent of the solution, that it helps beyond words to take yourself through the day… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
“Lesly: I don't think you're insane. Jackie-O: You don't? Lesly: No. Jackie-O: You don't think I'm an eensie weensie bit insane? Lesly:… — Wendy Macleod Copy Share Image
“She was so young how could she understand… Exactly how young was she Matthew’s mouth went dry. “Dearest how old are you… — Lydia Dare Copy Share Image
“Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked. "Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a… — Frankie Rose Copy Share Image
“For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that… — Jess Rothenberg Copy Share Image
Set your compass to beauty, humor, and grief; stay the course no matter what, and I'll support you with everything I've got. — Chris Jordan Copy Share Image
The world would be a nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. And it would be even better if some of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Monkey Island 2' was a huge game for me. It kind of taught me all about comedy. — Bryan Lee O'Malley Copy Share Image
On the show-biz ladder, comedy may only be the fifth rung, but it's the most popular. — Soupy Sales Copy Share Image
“If there is a necessary talks, do not turn into businesses because pocket where business started.” — Deh Gel Copy Share Image
“I’m glad she’s so smitten with her new huntsman boyfriend and all, but venison-wurst? Gag me with a harpsichord.” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
“Hugging your cat can make you very happy, provided she doesn't scratch you.” — Wilson Villanueva Copy Share Image
You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
“Goodness, a girl steps out of the office for a couple days and the whole world ends!” — A.J. Lauer Copy Share Image
When you see a married guy talking to himself, he's just reliving an argument he's already lost. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke. — Robert Wyatt Copy Share Image
“I was once told that flying involves long hours of boredom, interrupted by moments of extreme fright.” — Franklin W. Dixon Copy Share Image
I am ready to work hard, do comedy, romance and action. Just give me that trust. — Jaideep Ahlawat Copy Share Image
Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter. — Thomas Hobbes Copy Share Image
“All men are tragic...All men are comic...Every man is important if he loses his life; and every man is funny if he… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“You're like crabgrass! Every time I turn around, you're on another part of the lawn!” — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
Humor (is) the process that allows one to brush reality aside when it gets too distressing. — Andre Breton Copy Share Image
“I didn't mean to offend," he quickly adds. "Then, what exactly did you mean to say?” — Dhonielle Clayton Copy Share Image
“I deny their credentials as whales; and have presented them with their passports to quit the Kingdom of Cetology.” — Herman Melville Copy Share Image
“If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“That civet-jasmine blend you're wearing tonight absolutely clashes with the third-level formal style of your dress, you know.” — Lois McMaster Bujold Copy Share Image
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I don't have an agenda where I do a comedy and say, 'I have to do a drama next,' or 'I am… — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not. — Joe Biden Copy Share Image
