Humor Quotes · Page 517

When you truly have fun on the set it translates into a funny show on tv.

— Olivia Stuck

A wonderful story collection set between one place and another and shaped by a fearless sense of comedy.

— W. G. Sebald

“Monday. Given that it means "day of the moon," you'd think there'd be more butts involved.”

— Wataru Watari

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

— Rita Rudner

What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it…

— Bill Bailey

“I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.”

— Ernest Cline

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

— Tommy Cooper

“Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming.”

— Ryan Mecum

I did a 'Golden Girls' once, which shot in front of an audience, and that went well. I had a good time.…

— Dick Van Dyke

There are very few topics where I can imagine that you might not find humor. And I was stunned at how much…

— Peter Hedges

God does not love us because we are lovable, have a pleasing personality or a good sense of humor, or at rare…

— David B. Haight

I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it…

— Woody Allen

“Religious ceremonies are of paramount importance in Bali ( an island, don't forget, with seven unpredictable volcanoes on it-you would pray, too).”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

“Colt, you’re a cop. I’m fairly certain you realize what you are proposing is illegal. As in bigamy.” He laughed. “You don’t…

— Mari Carr

“Braith turned and saw three of her cousins sunning themselves on boulders. Like lizards. Lizards in human form. “What are you doing?”…

— G.A. Aiken

Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration,…

— Jack Benny

“Most salesmen are no-nonsense guys. But I’m not like them. I’m the #1 nonsense salesman in all of Camelot.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Prideful fool. It hurt his feelings that he couldn’t make my crazy go away. You know how men are. Always trying to…

— Ken Wheaton

“Deborah's little house was lavishly decorated in I-have-no-life modern.”

— Jeff Lindsay

“They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth. -Plato, philosopher (427-347 BCE)”

— Plato

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

— Milton Jones

I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem.

— Rebecca Romijn

I'm somebody who believes in funny things, and laughing, but I do like for them to come from a place that addresses…

— Natasha Lyonne

I never really tried comedy, so it was exciting to be part of one and to challenge myself that way.

— Lee Je-hoon

Life is really very fantastic, and one has to have a peculiar sense of humour to see the fun of it. [Virtue]

— W. Somerset Maugham

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

— Bob Hope

“All love is socioeconomic. It’s the gradients in status that make arousal possible.”

— Gary Shteyngart

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

— Doug Stanhope

I think comedy is a genre that has a lot of potential. It is a very content-driven film genre.

— Kartik Aaryan

Thanks to Halloween... the cobwebs in our house have just become decorations!

— Rick Sutter

“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident”

— Josh Stern

“It's impossible to walk through solid rock... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock.”

— J.M. Dattilo

“They called themselves "The Febs," which was an acronym for "Four-eyed Bastards.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

“What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.”

— Molly Harper

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

— Noel Fielding

“I don't respect thinking that is dangerous, prejudicial, childish, and could get me killed.”

— Bill Maher

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

— Shahrukh Khan

Two best secrets to keep relationships strong:whenever you are wrong,always admit it and whenever you are right,just keep quiet.

— Bakare

“There is a difference between looking stupid and been actually stupid!”

— Emmanuel Serenity

I loved comedy, but I never saw myself as a sitcom guy. I envisioned myself doing an hour drama or doing movies.

— Kevin Rahm