Humor Quotes · Page 482

I think comedy I've learned is really just about relaxing and trusting yourself and allowing yourself to fail.

— Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Even in the middle of tragedy, we find moments of humor, moments of tenderness, of simple happiness.

— Josh Holloway

“Just tell yourself you’re good. That’ll take care of any idea that you have about not being good enough.”

— Art Hochberg

I don't really know how music and comedy are similar. I try never to dissect it theoretically or academically.

— Eric Andre

“Cultivate happiness. Hone your sense of humor; it’s the most irresistible asset any of us can possess.”

— Sarah Ban Breathnach

“He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes." "He's always taking something - generally food.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.”

— Christopher Moore

“You do know you’re a woman, right?” I ask. “Are you sure?” Olivia asks with an astonished face. “I thought I had…

— Katelin LaMontagne

I knew a witty physician who found theology in the biliary duct, and used to affirm that if there was a disease…

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I just... I understand you might want to start dating more seriously, and that means dating someone from town. But if you're…

— Kelley Armstrong

“I'm already seeing my daughter's cynical sense of humor and she's 6! I bought these shoes, and I'm thinking I'm a cool…

— Steve Carell

“With hand gestures, you can fill in a lot of gaps, and the words thing and stuff and -ness also help: patientness…

— Aimee Bender

If we went by the world's definition of who I'm supposed to be because I look weird 'Well, surely, this guy can't…

— Nick Vujicic

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men…

— Rita Rudner

“Miss Honey gives us a little song about each word and we all sing it together and we learn to spell it…

— Roald Dahl

You sayis that the pie man where they say wait! what the pie man u mean the ice cream if a little…

— MrCountry

I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss…

— Nick Cave

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly…

— Tommy Cooper

Comedy is a cool thing, because, at least in my experience, if you're good at it and people know, they'll find out…

— Lolly Adefope

“You shut up!You speak too much for someone who always keeps his mouth hidden behind a mask!”

— Masashi Kishimoto Naruto Shippuden

[on his deathbed in a Paris hotel room] Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

— Oscar Wilde

“Oh, doctor. I think I’m sick I need some penis-cilin.” I fake cough again into my hand.”

— S.K. Logsdon

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the…

— Conan O'Brien

My Lord told me a joke. And seeing Him laugh has done more for me than any scripture I will ever read.

— Meister Eckhart

“I'm not very domestic. For years my family thought mold was a frosting.”

— Martha Bolton

“Supposedly, guys think about sex every eight seconds. If that's true, how can they talk to their grandmothers?”

— Jody Gehrman

I just want to keep doing my comedy work because that's what I do. I made a name for myself playing other…

— Kayvan Novak

“Well, spit on my empty grave--if it ain't the attack of the Disney princesses!”

— Amy Plum

“if you want to make a point, tell a story—but raising several points at once requires humor.”

— Scott Weems

“Secure victory before you celebrate. Only a fool dances before crossing the finish line first.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If this is where you ask me to run around in my birthday suit, I’m not entirely comfortable with that,” I said,…

— Laura Kreitzer

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

— Steven Wright

I suggest taking the high road and have a little sence of humour and let things roll off your back. I think…

— Sally Ride

“People who were raised on The Bible can never tell the difference between a warning and an advertisement.”

— George Hammond

“Ever feel like dialing 911 is just simply not enough, and you really need to speak to someone on the Supreme Court...?”

— Josh Stern

“I suppose this means you can swim after all. Or am I supposed to tow you?" "If you really try," said Loaf,…

— Orson Scott Card

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

— Gilbert Gottfried

“It is better to be hurt with the truth than to be encouraged with lies...”

— Adedayo kingjerry

“Q: Best part about being a musical theatre book writer? A: Explaining what that is.”

— Christy Hall

“I envisioned him tied in a chair, an iron arrow pointed at his brow. Ah, the power of positive thinking.”

— Red Tash