As long as I get to be doing what I love, which is making comedy and that kind of thing, I feel… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“If I were pressed, I would admit that she was beautiful, in a dead bride sort of way.” — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
“Cottage cheese, broken down into its simplest form, is milk that has been curdled to mimic the cellulite its consumption is meant… — Elsie Love Copy Share Image
“Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night." "And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically.” — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
“The Bat Phone to the Universe," some kind of Iva-only, open-round-the-clock special channel to the divine.” — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
I want to be able to infuse some youthful energy and comedy while appreciating the generations before. — Neil Patrick Harris Copy Share Image
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“We both know the world would be better off without heroes. Without villains. Without any of us, getting in the way of… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
The interesting part about 'Iron Sky' was crowdfunding. It was financed in a very special new way. Timo Vuorensola is an amazing,… — Udo Kier Copy Share Image
“And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons… — Elizabeth Eulberg Copy Share Image
“I always feel the greatest bliss when I recollect those I have caught in my snares, for they generally are insolent, and… — Giacomo Casanova Copy Share Image
“ --- she says it’s a tradition --- which must mean all those things people do that they don’t know why they… — George Hammond Copy Share Image
“I decided, on the spot, to let God into my heart, in the hope that my newfound faith can somehow be used… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Shut the front door!” Jenna exclaimed. Andrew disappeared into the foyer, and when he returned, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. “The… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“I was sitting in an empty classroom, when this dude comes in and asks," what's up ?" Hey, man. Just in a… — Danial Shamsi Copy Share Image
I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“It was not Death that stood before me but only Vernon Dickey, my father-in-law.” — Don DeLillo Copy Share Image
The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“you're kidding," i said. "i'm thinking about plans for doomsday, and you're worried about being late to a dance?” — serpent's shadow Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
There are lots of actors, and you need a way to stand out. Writing comedy sketches was a way of doing that. — Sharon Horgan Copy Share Image
No one will ever ask me to sing because it's beautiful. My secret is hiding my musicianship behind humor. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I am attracted to truths that are uncomfortable. I like funny bummers. — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Were the stars against him? A woman's fingers are quicker in the sky and shine more brightly.” — Graham Spaid Copy Share Image
Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent. — Antoine Rivarol Copy Share Image
There is no better taste than this: someone else’s laughter in your mouth. — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Sir Tucker,” I say suddenly, interrupting Angela. “Yeah?” “I believe the correct response is, ‘yes, Your Majesty,” — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
In terms of humor, it's a really powerful coping mechanism, and it gets you through really dark days. — Eva Victor Copy Share Image
“A satirist is never certain whether he/she will be acclaimed or punished.” — Edgar Johnson Copy Share Image
“Good thing about hanging out with a pregnant woman: designated driver by default.” — Amelia C. Gormley Copy Share Image
“You're such a romantic. Just like your brother. Do you know what he bought for me for our last anniversary? A knife… — Kim Fielding Copy Share Image
People who take themselves too seriously, who can't see anything else, are usually funny. — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
I go to a lot of stand-up comedy. I find more inspiration from observational stuff than from rap. — Riz Ahmed Copy Share Image
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. — Allen Klein Copy Share Image
“When somebody make you feel happy it doesn't meant that he/she loves you.Its only Friendship or Nothing.” — Brijesh Mauryu Copy Share Image
Most of things in life are easy to lose, and hard to gain. Unfortunately, this isn't in the case for weight... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
