Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“There's something weird and sexual about the way some people talk about God--have you noticed?” — Frank Portman Copy Share Image
“Besides, we were fifteen, and we couldn't get our feelings to match up with our brains. So we went with our feelings.” — Karen Swallow Prior Copy Share Image
People are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing. — Jennifer Lee Copy Share Image
A year living with your parents when you turn 30 has been ripe for comedy. — Rosie Jones Copy Share Image
“Saint Bo, a man christened with the miraculous ability to gentle horses, nervous women, and one year olds.” — Becky Wade Copy Share Image
“They say the Lord never gives us more than we can bear. This is only true of money and cleavage.” — Joni Rodgers Copy Share Image
I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
The idea of old world instruments mixed with sci-fi, futuristic lyrics, playing baroque guitar on a song about a robot boy and… — Kemp Muhl Copy Share Image
“He wanted a home. He wanted a family. He wanted to have friends. But none of those things were realistic. At least… — Neil Patrick Harris Copy Share Image
“He was quiet, yet fiercely devoted to his job. He hid a delightful sense of humor beneath a calm exterior. He approached… — Kate Davies Copy Share Image
Sometimes my humor does offend people, and I've said it before: I don't write jokes to be offensive. I write jokes to… — Moshe Kasher Copy Share Image
“I asked Meyer what drew him to comedy, he said, “I love to make people laugh, entertain people, and try to make… — Adam M. Grant Copy Share Image
I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go… — David Chase Copy Share Image
“The world needed changing - that I knew. Global warming threatened to give us all a lethal tan; war and poverty decimated… — Jeff Deck Copy Share Image
“The parrot had a range of phrases. His own name ('Niko, Niko'), the name of his original owner and now 'Stavros'. Occasionally… — Victoria Hislop Copy Share Image
Ideally, I'd love to do a comedy just because, work-wise, it'd be a lot of fun. — Amber Stevens Copy Share Image
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’m not ‘stubborn.’” “Oh, really?” Lifting my chin, I said, “I’m determined.” (Violet to Doc)” — Ann Charles Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you… — Jean Rostand Copy Share Image
Compared to the other work I've done on TV, 'Breaking Bad' was funny. In the beginning, I described it as a dark… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor. — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton Copy Share Image
“The Wild West didn't have much in the way of forensics; when you saw the bullet hole you'd say, 'That's prob'ly what… — P.K. Vandcast Copy Share Image
I value humor, kindness, and the ability to tell a good story far more than money, status, or the kind of car… — Rebecca Wells Copy Share Image
“I like the pooch. When I’ve had a dog’s snout in my mouth, we tend to develop a special bond.” — Randy Quarles Copy Share Image
“Do you really want to kick a guy when he's down? Of course you do. That's when his head is nearest to… — Kevin Seccia Copy Share Image
“If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money.” — J. R. Rain Copy Share Image
My comedy is a nuclear bomb inside my mind. It's a weapon that's never been tested. It just blows up and flattens… — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very funny. — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
“She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below… — Daniel Marks Copy Share Image
“When you’re in the role of the teacher, the teacher must take on the role of the student and learn from him… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Looking can make you want. Wanting can get you thinking. If you want them to stop thinking, just give them what they… — R.S. Vern Copy Share Image
I feel lazy. In fact, I'm feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese_flag. — Ismail Ibrahim Copy Share Image
“Just been told that I've been in a car crash with Stephen Merchant. I was eating cereal in my pj's when I… — Hayley Atwell Copy Share Image
