Why periods? Why can't Mother Nature just text me and be like, 'Whaddup girl? You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think comedy is something you learn. I think it's something that's either there or it's not. — Jessica Walter Copy Share Image
I just love the different rhythm of comedy after having been in a disease-of-the-week kind of show. — Christina Pickles Copy Share Image
It's depressing sitting at a comedy club all night, waiting to get on to do your five or ten minutes of material. — Sandra Bernhard Copy Share Image
“But,' I ducked the subject, 'don't heaps of artists use pseudonyms?' 'Who?' 'Um . . .' Only Cliff Richard and Sid Vicious… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“The world is in trouble because of a few funny sympathetic philosophers” — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
“Could soldiers read? Mr Norrell did not know. He turned with a look of desperate appeal to Childermass. Childermass shrugged.” — Susanna Clarke Copy Share Image
“A PhD knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.” — Kunal K. Das Copy Share Image
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“(Rude Scrabble) You played this game with your parents?" he asked skeptically. Yep. And Mom always won, the dirty bitch. I guess… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
“So how big is this thing anyway?” Desideria asked Chayden made a sound of irritation. “You know, that’s not really a question… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
“Because of social strictures against even the mildest swearing, America developed a particularly rich crop of euphemistic expletives - darn, durn, goldurn,… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“They intend to make people's very appetites the next weapon of uncountable destruction. They intend that your people will lust themselves into… — Robert Stikmanz Copy Share Image
“When slow songs do play, people joke that you should be able to fit "the standard works" between you and your partner.… — Elna Baker Copy Share Image
“There was a peal of laughter from the girls. Then, before anyone could say a word, the line was seen to move… — Cao Xueqin Copy Share Image
“The world's full of wonder, he said. Or at least horror that looks wondrous from afar.” — Luke Scull Copy Share Image
“It was a scary thought. A man could be surrounded by poetry reading and not know it.” — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
I do love comedy, and when it's a comedy moment and you can make people laugh, of course it is wonderful. — Maggie Smith Copy Share Image
People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“But if there's one thing I've learned in life it's this: assume makes an ass out of 'u' and 'me” — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“—¿Por qué sonríes si me has tirado? Me ofreció la mano. —Las cosas pequeñas son las que me hacen feliz.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“He who has learned how to laugh at himself shall never cease to be entertained.” — John Powell Copy Share Image
“It is said by some that the gods show us their bitter humor by molding us into what we hate most in… — Raymond E. Feist Copy Share Image
“His mouth came down on mine and the belly flutter broke the Richter scale.” — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“I can still kick your pony-lovin' butt with twice this much pain." Thomas shrugged, "I do love ponies. Wish I could eat… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a comedian, but I wasn't funny enough to do it every night. — John Popper Copy Share Image
“If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.” — Jesse Andrews Copy Share Image
“Alpha bitches are all the same underneath. Don't know how to give an inch even if their damn fool lives depend on… — Moira Rogers Copy Share Image
“Would you just fall in love with me already so I can stop acting normal.” — Van Krishna Copy Share Image
“I would have killed myself years ago if it weren't for the fact that I’m pretty sure death is the only thing… — Alex Sargeant Copy Share Image
Compulsory reading for anyone who has a pig, an aunt or a sense of humor. — Lindsey Davis Copy Share Image
A sense of humor is an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways… — Ed Sheeran Copy Share Image
“You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Bloody hell," Phillip finally burst out. "If you're going to break my legs, would you just go ahead and do it now?” — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created.” — Lawana Blackwell Copy Share Image
I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed." I grinned. "Then I daresay it's good I'm a woman.” — Susan Dennard Copy Share Image
I would love to do a comedy, and I think physical comedy is something I probably have a knack on. — Zoe Bell Copy Share Image
“I discovered that there was just as much humor to be found in the minutiae of everyday life as there was in… — Nancy the Cat Copy Share Image
