Humor Quotes · Page 465

“If a wizard should take up residence in your garden, and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.”

— Mark Jackman

“Forget him, he's just another red-shirted extra making a cameo appearance in our lives.”

— Adrian Mckinty

Are you a female dog? What? Massie asked. Why? Because you are acting like a real bitch

— Lisi Harrison

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

— Robert Orben

Who says I'm fat? :) I don't think so... it's just that- i'm not THIN..;p

— Meow Opre

As much as I'd love to explore other genres, I won't leave comedy. This genre has given me an identity.

— Varun Sharma

“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to get into my metaphysical pants.”

— Allison Pang

It's hard to disguise the love I feel inside every time you look in my eyes.

— Joanne Lobedica

The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending…

— Kyle Baker

“Falderson," he said quietly to Bahzell in passable Navahkan, "is as stupid as the day is long." He craned his neck to…

— David Weber

“Once they've borne children, mothers can construct virtually any costume using scissors, felt, Elmer's glue, and a leftover pen spring. They're like…

— Drew Magary

“At this point trillions of pictures have been taken of Kate Moss in an effort to capture her beauty, style and essence.…

— Alexa Chung

Those who knew Lincoln described him as an extraordinarily funny man. Humor was an essential aspect of his temperament. He laughed, he…

— Doris Kearns Goodwin

“Yes!" Narissus unslung his bow and grabbed an arrow from his dusty quiver. "The first one who get that bronze, I will…

— Rick Riordan

“I understand that you are an accomplished swords-man,” she finally said. He eyed her curiously. Where was she going with this? “I…

— Julia Quinn

“I thought you weren’t allowed to have a phone,” he says. “Or was that a really pathetic excuse to avoid giving me…

— Colleen Hoover

“We always emerge from the death of a loved one like a phoenix arising from its funeral pyre.”

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I only speak English and gibberish and I'm fluent only in the gibberish.

— T Jay Taylor

“She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good...or for evil.”

— Anne Taintor

Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey? -Fred Weasley

— Anonymous

“If I was really, really lucky, Felix might throw a fireball at me, and I'd get out of the rest of this…

— Sarah Monette

“I glared at Christian as the blood smeared around. “You could have at least licked it.” He smirked darkly. “I hear that…

— Dannika Dark

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

— Brian Posehn

“If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.”

— Taylor Swift

“I can deal with fighting in the arena in Hell, but laundry and dishes put the fear of God in me.”

— Richard Kadrey

“Oh, dear, she thought, this is probably more democracy than an Englishman can stand.”

— Carla Kelly

I've tried to go out of my comfort zone to experiment with comedy onscreen.

— Ram Charan

That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.

— Jerry Coleman

I would like to do comedy. I can be a bit of a Jim Carrey. I was always the class clown.

— Jacqueline MacInnes Wood

The difference between me as Brian Warner or Marilyn Manson is just words. Same personality, sensibility, sense of humor, behavior. He is…

— Marilyn Manson

Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest.

— Douglas William Jerrold

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up…

— Bob Monkhouse

I like a lot of movies. I like all types of genres. I like the classics - comedy, action.

— Danny Green

My wife and I take what we call our Friday comedy day off. We watch standup comics on TV. The raunchier the…

— Gene Hackman

“Can I get you anything? A drink? A fresh change of clothes? A membership card to Hypocrites International?”

— Erin McCarthy

“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.”

— Roseanne Barr

A couple of friends and I started a sketch comedy group when we were teenagers, just for fun and to start creating…

— Reece Thompson

I think that you can make a drama and have it be intensely funny, and vice versa.

— Jason Gann

“Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you.”

— Salman Aditya

“I assure you, my good Lestrade, that I have an excellent reason for everything that I do.”

— Arthur Conan Doyle