Humor Quotes · Page 446

“Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A…

— Sara Zarr

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

— Joseph Heller

Bands on tour are very good cultivators of what's the avant-garde of comedy.

— Jonathan Krisel

“perhaps you three could continue this conversation when the ship is not under attack? Mr.Kadam said.”

— Colleen Houck

Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work…

— Mario Tomasello

Find, if you can, in what you cannot change. Manners with fortunes, humours turn with climes, Tenets with books, and principles with…

— Alexander Pope

I consider myself a serious musician. Doing a comedy show does not take away from that in any way.

— Kevin Eubanks

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times.

— John Gerzema

“It wasn’t the first time he’d run for his life. And it most likely would not be the last. In the past…

— G.A. Aiken

“Do you, Damon Chroi, sovereign of the Goblin Kingdom, take this woman, Diana Piper, to be your queen and wife, to have…

— Heather Killough-Walden

The thing I liked most about 'Lois & Clark,' we were a fun show. Some of the later 'Superman' stuff is so…

— Dean Cain

“Oh my God, you're huge." She struggled to get her hands to the ends of the long sleeves. The garment hung to…

— Krystal Shannan

“What makes the Arctic VarChar so unusual and popular is that each bite has a different taste. As you carve your way…

— Sorin Suciu

I don't like comedy that I think is bad comedy, where people are trying to be sick for the sake of it,…

— Steve Coogan

“I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my…

— Georgia Saratsioti

Being typed is not important. For a while vou are typed as one thing. You get out of that. Then you are…

— Peter Lorre

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope…

— Zach Galifianakis

“Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter how long it's been since you last heard one.”

— Maggie Stiefvater

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

— Mort Sahl

“Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?" "Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick.”

— Elizabeth Brown

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

— Jim Gaffigan

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

— Steven Wright

“The lord giveth and most women piss it away. Perhaps this is why they lack the equipment to aim.”

— paula wall

If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.

— Jerry Coleman

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

— Bill Cosby

“On Wall Street, the lawyers play the same role as medics in war: They come in after the shooting is over to…

— Michael Lewis

“Oh, Anya! Let's have an intense spiritual relationship for no believable reason!”

— Vera Brosgol

A friend is like a good bra: close to your heart, hard to find, and supportive.

— Anonymous

“My sex life is okay." "Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.”

— Janet Evanovich

“It is not something we often find out; but most of the specially-gifted have a deep desire to be ordinary.”

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

All those I admired as a young performer had a calmness to their comedy.

— Ronnie Corbett

The fact of the matter is, you can't do comedy unless someone is behaving badly. Otherwise, it's not a comedy.

— Keegan-Michael Key

“I, however did not like to run. Or, for that matter, engage in any kind of physical exertion.”

— John Green

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move.…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very carefully…burned the house down.

— Anonymous

A lot of people say that comedy doesn't travel well. I found it very accessible.

— Mark Addy

“Turns out that sometimes, faith and a sense of humor really can be all you need.”

— Amy Lane

“Can't we do anything about it?" - "No!" - "Then I can't see the sense in panicking", said Twoflower calmly”

— Terry Pratchett

There's a hidden Goth in me: I have a dark sense of humour; I have a dark sense of fashion.

— Sonali Bendre

“Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' — or at least, that's what I would think if I had…

— Nenia Campbell