“No wonder I worried about talking dirty; talking in general seemed to escape me.” — Jordan Castillo Price Copy Share Image
How can I tell if someone is pretty on the inside without looking in all of her orifices? — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“He holds his hands up to keep the Reapers from advancing. I forgot Zack's flair for the melodramatic. ~Exposing ELE” — Courtney Nuckels Copy Share Image
“Really? well, thank you. I was under the impression you wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire” — Abbi Glines Copy Share Image
“P.S. I also note that you included the Stalker's Anthem "Every Breath You Take" I do enjoy our sense of humor, but… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
As soon as I heard the term 'comedy nerd,' I'd hoped there was a lot of them. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I chose Eat: LA as a broadcast partner because of its good taste, sense of humor, and spirit of adventure. — John Rabe Copy Share Image
The life of every individual is really always a tragedy, but gone through in detail, it has the character of a comedy. — Arthur Schopenhauer Copy Share Image
I am a political human being. I have - that's one of my interests. I studied political science in college. I was… — Maz Jobrani Copy Share Image
“When they reached a maintenance closet, Iko ushered the escort-droid inside. “I want you to know that I hold nothing against you,”… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
“That this world’s general sickness doth not lie In any humour, or one certain part; But as thou sawest it rotten at… — John Donne Copy Share Image
“Vincent: "Rose, we can't fight this guy." Rose: "Can you..." Vincent: "Kara, what are you doing?" Rose: "What's going on?" Vincent: "Kara's...… — Sylvain Neuvel Copy Share Image
Our democratic faith is more than the creed of our country, it is the inborn hope of our humanity, an ideal we… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I'm not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad… — Roland Joffe Copy Share Image
“We are perhaps permitted tragedy as a sort of merciful comedy: because the frantic energy of divine things would knock us down… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“She swept away, putting an extra kink into her walk. I would not have thought that a woman with an ass that… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Life sucks, then you find a bunch of funny comments of how life sucks on the internet, then you laugh and realize… — Daniel Smith Copy Share Image
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People like me doing comedy, especially after 'Khatron Ke Khiladi,' where they got a glimpse. — Sana Khan Copy Share Image
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“...It’s pretty simple, really: having fun can only led to having more fun-- it cannot led to injury, pain, or dismemberment.” — Tom Upton Copy Share Image
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“I try to imagine what type of girl Connor would seek, but she seems unfathomable--like a hazy picture with only her brain… — Becca Ritchie Copy Share Image
If teachers can't teach every subject, why do students have to Iearn them all? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Everything, everything that you experienced up to this point is gone – gone – so go on.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Conflict of interest. I wanted to date somebody who was less screwed up than me, and she wasn't.” — Jason Krumbine Copy Share Image
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I like an English sense of humor: dry, dirty, a little bit off. That's kind of my taste. — Brooklyn Decker Copy Share Image
“I wush for his own sake that he'd have a big steaming cup of calm the hell down.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Marriages can survive without love, but they cannot survive without forgiveness, fortitude, and a good sense of humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. — Jean Giraudoux Copy Share Image
“Don't kill her now, just when we've gone to all that trouble to rescue her," said Jeffrey.” — Jeanne Birdsall Copy Share Image
Life gets so ridiculous, you just have to brush it off like sand and laugh. I think the laughter is good medicine… — Ace Antonio Hall Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, Tanner! Do you really care what kind of underwear he’s got on? Let’s talk about your goddamn outline!” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“Did the guy who invent the shower cap also invent the fitted bed sheet?” — Gregor Collins Copy Share Image
