Humor Quotes · Page 370

“Amaranthe cleared her throat. “Enough girl talk. There are enemy cabins full of dastardly old ladiesthat we must infiltrate.”

— Lindsay Buroker

The idyllic mayhem of two cultures colliding just doesn't seem as funny anymore.

— Kris Kidd

“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur”

— Josh Stern

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

— Bill Watterson

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

— Jimmy Carr

Growing up, I loved comedy even before I knew that you could be a stand-up comedian.

— Katherine Ryan

“I had a dream about you last night… it was raining and you were fishing for fire to set a sandcastle a…

— Nicole McKay

“Oh, so close!" she said, her smile getting wider. "But close only counts in horseshoes and dragon fire.”

— James Riley

“One of the traits of sophistication is the capacity to cross borders between different cultural relevancies. Humor is often, intentionally or not,…

— Peter L. Berger

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together…

— Dave Barry

I always think of myself as a comedy feeder type person, and that feeder lets themselves get out of your comfort zone…

— Bo Burnham

“Why did I even think that girl would help? So…I need her. Why?! Why her? What is it that makes her so…

— Sadie Grubor

“The demon needs permission to stay?” Kyle asked, a bit amused now. “Of course. You need to give it permission to come…

— Aparajita Yadav

I was always given the comedy role, even in the ballet. I was the one who fell off her points, you know?…

— June Whitfield

I wrote a play at drama school, which was a dark comedy - people laughed and cried. And then my script of…

— Michaela Coel

“‘Jane’s World’ has pushed the boundaries for mainstream comic strips: girls have kissed, punched each other, have been abducted by aliens, taken…

— Paige Braddock

I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.

— Kurt Braunohler

A lot of the time, a comedy script is just dialogue, and that's the main thing you have to worry about.

— Paul Rust

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

— Anonymous

“When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with…

— Hank Moody

“90% of life is showing up. I'm staying home to wait for the other 10%.”

— Brian Spellman

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

— Frankie Boyle

“So basically you're just a fucking train wreck?" she joked. "I prefer conflicted," I corrected.”

— Chasta Schneider

People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.

— Dana Gould

I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally.

— Anthony Jeselnik

“She'd been trained as a child no to trust anyone, but he'd just saved her life, and she was freezing. He could…

— Krystal Shannan

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.

— Joel McHale

The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything…

— John Cleese

The light, humorous touch works well for 'Columbo,' 'McMillan and Wife,' and 'McCloud.'

— Mike Connors

Welcome to my garage! This is where I go to get away from the honey-do list.

— Bill Engvall

“Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.”

— Neil Gaiman

Burlesque is beautiful: It's art, it's fun, it's done with a lot of comedy - an awful lot of big wink-wink and…

— Imelda May

For anybody that's looking at getting into comedy as stand-up or otherwise, the best advice to give is: Be original. Always.

— Deon Cole

“Only if you're a numbskull." "Numbskull yourself! Want me to numb your skull with this shovel?”

— John Flanagan

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

— Lewis Black

I love pandas, they're so chill. They are all like 'Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, and Asian...'

— Anonymous

“I will pull your pancreas out through your nose and feed it back to you in a drip inserted into your anus…

— Sara Wolf

I was born with a mother who loved me unconditionally and with a sense of humor.

— Anthony Ray Hinton

I grew up in a house that liked to be funny. Everybody liked to be funny. My family's been...we've been enjoying each…

— Adam Sandler

Evangelicals always assume that humor and faith are contradictory. It's OK to smile, to be nice, but not frivolous.

— Mike Yaconelli