“Mountain logic has a lot more logic than people might think," Alex said.” — lyn gala Copy Share Image
“Kids must spend half their lives throwing things at the ducks in Regent's Park. How come he managed to pick a duck… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
“Mamma says she is quite certain that "how old is too old?" is not a question known to the Lord.” — Annette Bridges Copy Share Image
“I think she fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.” — Lorna Seilstad Copy Share Image
Trust is the most important part of a realtionship. You must be 100% sure that she Won't tell your Wife. — Zhat Copy Share Image
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
It started with '80s horror movies. I also love 'The Ren & Stimpy Show.' I was also really into art when I… — Sarah Sherman Copy Share Image
“I'm not saying I was scared. Okay, I was scared. He had an MP5. I had a Nikon.” — Joel C. Rosenberg Copy Share Image
The myriad-minded man, our, and all men's, Shakespeare, has in this piece presented us with a legitimate farce in exactest consonance with… — Samuel Taylor Coleridge Copy Share Image
I think comedy and horror are very similar in that there's a very direct intention. So you're trying to be funny, or… — Evan Peters Copy Share Image
“Nathan laughed with little real humor. "Maybe that's because I was," he said. "I disapproved of the way Andrew treated you. And… — Alicia Thompson Copy Share Image
“Jean," Locke gasped out during a brief lull between spasms of retching, "next time I conceive a plan like this, consider putting… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
“When a woman wants me to do anything (my daughter, or not, it doesn't matter), I always insist on knowing why. The… — Wilkie Collins Copy Share Image
“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
Yeah, even a black comedy. Where it's a little eerie. I'd love to do that. But there are about three really fabulous… — Sharon Gless Copy Share Image
“Only after the words were spoken did she realize what she had said. "My sins are all your fault, Brodick, and if… — Julie Garwood Copy Share Image
If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you're a tool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Aw, fuck me," she muttered. "Love to doll, but I'm sort of numb from the waist down," he said. "Can I take… — Leia Shaw Copy Share Image
“Fortunately for Alan’s sake, Frank preferred beauty over age so I had no need to defend my territory.” — Nicole Castle Copy Share Image
“I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.” — Leo Durocher Copy Share Image
“What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“Hell, any plan that added "and then we pray" is not a trip to Disneyland.” — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. — Adam Sandler Copy Share Image
A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t help but smile. “If I wanted to take Finch out, I’d just tell him Prada went out of business, and… — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
“Dealing with jackasses on every front today. Good thing I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. (Charlie Sheen Reference)” — Greg Campbell Copy Share Image
I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
I loved George Carlin... I used to sit in front of the TV and watch the HBO comedy specials. I loved those… — Mick Foley Copy Share Image
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest. — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
“I'll just stay ten feet away from him at all times so I don't accidentally trip and fall and land lips first… — J.L. McCoy Copy Share Image
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
So I phoned up the spiritual leader of tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I… — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
For me, a good comedy town is filled with people on the verge of a riot. They need something to relieve the… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
We need more intellect and humor back on television, instead of the lowest common denominator of comedy - like the fart joke! — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspiren? I think I've got a cold." — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“There were no books in the Afterwards, which the people thought was some serious bullshit.” — Amber Sparks Copy Share Image
“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“I hate nothing more then being angry and outside. It always feels like I lost an argument and was kicked out of… — Larry Gent Copy Share Image
