Humor Quotes · Page 259

I want to make out-and-out comedy movies.

— Gurpreet Ghuggi

“In the middle of all beliefs you'll find a single lie.”

— Samuel L. Drew

“It was comparable to getting sick from bad ventilation”

— Alice Munro

The comedy in 'Star Trek' is always very subtle, if it's there at all.

— Robert Duncan McNeill

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

— Chelsea Handler

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

— Bill Cosby

Courtesy and good humor are often found with little real worth.

— Samuel Johnson

“Did you wake up on the stupid side of the bed this morning?”

— Tammy Blackwell

“Am I going crazy? Am I supposed to believe that God is a big black woman with a questionable sense of humor?”

— Wm. Paul Young

I couldn't be in a relationship without equality, generosity, integrity, spirit, kindness and humor. And awesomeness.

— Jennifer Aniston

Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says 'Trust me, you dont want to know.'

— Anonymous

You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.

— Neil Gaiman

I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination.

— James Acaster

“As a general rule, librarians are a kick in the pants socially, often full of good humor, progressive, and, naturally, well read”

— Bill Hall

“...doing the smoker's comedy act: he hunted automatically for an ashtray, didn't find one, tipped his ashes into the palm of his…

— Patricia Nell Warren

Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you.

— Thomas Friedman

“She turned on me a flatteringly protracted but a wiltingly disapproving gaze, & then went inside, humming a light song to indicate…

— O. Henry

Comedy makes everything accessible. Watching the news is kind of like being fed your evening pill. What's fun about it? Nothing. And…

— Dan Aykroyd

The danger to power is obsession - power junkies. You need a very strong mind and humor to balance yourself. If you…

— Frederick Lenz

“An academic definition of Lynchian might be that the term "refers to a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and…

— David Foster Wallace

I think comedy allows people to accept the more difficult parts of history. And history, if it's presented wrong, is just very…

— James McBride

“Lord, I can’t live in his mashed potato world. I need my tubers scalloped and diced and baked and fried and different…

— Lorna Seilstad

I wasn't classically trained as an actor; I wasn't pursuing standup comedy. I really came into it through the back door. And…

— H. Jon Benjamin

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about…

— Henny Youngman

“It was almost romantic, in a mad-inventor sort of way.”

— Kady Cross

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”

— Bill Watterson

“Oh, that's right. Missy opens doors.”

— Perry Elisabeth Kirkpatrick

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

— George Bernard Shaw

If something becomes mean-spirited and hurtful, it's not funny.

— Tom Green

I don't want to get stuck in romantic comedy.

— Henry Golding

“You can't make shark fin soup without water”

— J.P. Patches

The harder you try to be funny, the less funny you will be.

— Anonymous

“I think you underestimate the appeal of blowing things up.”

— Debra Dunbar

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"

— Steven Wright

Death is not the end. Death is the middle linebacker.

— John Alejandro King

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

— Anonymous

“It is hard to forget that which it is worse than useless to remember.”

— Henry David Thoreau

“Sonora Pass is not a graphic novel for light weights Dude”

— Jaime Olmos

“Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?”

— Sol Luckman

“I don't get chosen for things unless there is a motive.”

— Melina Marchetta