“Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod.” — A.G. Phillips Copy Share Image
“A census taker once tried to test me. I let my front garden eat him.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Good for you Woods. You're not as dumb as you look. Come to think of it, no one's as dumb as you… — Randy Alcorn Copy Share Image
“Revolting’ was the last word I ever spoke as someone who’d never kissed a girl.” — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“It’s so much fun to fight the odds, but it’s so draining to fight stupidity.” — Peter Bolton Copy Share Image
“He's lighting up my life and I don't even know his name. He's already perfect.” — Poppet Copy Share Image
I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to… — Yvette Nicole Brown Copy Share Image
Girl: Your favorite band/singer sucks! * 25 MINUTES LATER* Cop: So she fell down the stairs? Me: Yeah, Let's go with that. — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
One of the things I was taught was how you deal with language. It's important, very important in comedy. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I think Jack Nicholson in 'Chinatown' is a very funny character, but I would never call that a comedy. — Ruben Fleischer Copy Share Image
“In defense of King, country, and family, he would unhesitatingly have sacrificed his virtue to Nessie, had that been required. If it… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
“You’re not listening to any of this, are you?” As far as she was concerned, it was really a rhetorical question. Rather… — Marie Ferrarella Copy Share Image
Humor can make a serious difference. In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life - looking for a reason to… — Steve Goodier Copy Share Image
“However, I suppose VH1 *is* selling me something; they're selling nostalgia, which means they're selling my own memories back to me, which… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“So what were your favorite subjects in school?" "School?" He leaned back in his chair as though he needed the extra space… — Janette Rallison Copy Share Image
“Mud covered me from face to feet. I couldn’t straighten my body, however much I tried to. But I was alive. I… — Pedro De Alcantara Copy Share Image
“That’s the eureka moment, when suddenly you know something. Your hands sweat, you get into all kinds of symptoms of tremendous excitement.… — Leon Max Lederman Copy Share Image
“You certainly are a repository of useless information. How do you know all that?' David asked, with more amusement than admiration. 'I… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
“The best thing about a book is that you don't have to plug it in.” — Joseph Voelbel Copy Share Image
Trouble knocked on the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
“The pursuit of historical relevance is an under appreciated endeavor.” — Michael Dwinnell Copy Share Image
Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches. — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
