Humor Quotes · Page 211

Humor is a great way to relieve stress.

— Christina Maslach

Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt.

— George Santayana

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.

— Steven Wright

“Too bad. Game over. Insert new fucking quarter.”

— Nenia Campbell

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

— David Sedaris

“At last a lifetime ambition of mine to become a pimp was satisfied.”

— Jack Woodford

“What is [insert name here]? Does it taste good?”

— Ken Akamatsu

When the joke is on you, your sense of humour gets a reality check.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.

— Miranda Hart

“Laughter feels like our flotation device -- it won't pull us out of the storm, but it might carry us through, if…

— Emery Lord

I make dramedies, but 'Tangerine' really has a lot of comedy, and I saw that it had a great effect - it…

— Sean Baker

East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory.

— P. J. O'Rourke

My boyfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

— Anonymous

Nobody wants to see sketch comedy that's the same sketch they've seen time and time again, or that's just a rehash of…

— Jordan Peele

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.

— Mitch Hedberg

Americans are funny people: first you shock them, then they put you in a museum.

— Mick Jagger

I feel if I had super powers I will be a Villain. The police would always be looking for me, for some…

— Glen Rambharack

Oh Christ, the exhaustion of not knowing anything. It's so tiring and hard on the nerves. It really takes it out of…

— Martin Amis

Baseball players practice, runners practice, so how can you practice being funny? You get up onstage. You train as an improviser, playing…

— Ali Farahnakian

“Oh, sweet peaches and cream, this hurts.” “Child, what have you done to your foot?” Beth glanced down to see blood dripping…

— Terri Osburn

“What are you running from?" That put a damper on the fluttering lashes. "Columbia House Music Club," I said, recovering my snarkiness…

— Molly Harper

“Revolutionary behavior and violence are usually only indulged in when people are at their wits’ end. So social stability depends a lot…

— George Hammond

“Susie, what shall I do - there is'nt room enough; not half enough, to hold what I was going to say. Wont…

— Emily Dickinson

I had a job interview at an insurance company once, and the lady said 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'…

— Mitch Hedberg

I enjoy comedy but it can become wearisome.

— Steve Coogan

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

— Chris Rock

I find comedy fun, and I really enjoy doing music.

— Matt Berry

“Girls can do anything boys can do in high heels!”

— Brooke Sachau

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

— Henny Youngman

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

— George W. Bush

“You're like, a kick ass ninja of niceness.”

— H.M. Ward

I've predominantly done comedy over the years.

— Nicky Whelan

I've heard the call. I believe God wants me to run for president.

— George W. Bush

“Comedy, of course, lives for serious moments.”

— Glen Duncan

Blonde is dumb comedy, red hair is smart, sexy comedy.

— Lisa Kudrow

“You usually can't go wrong if you state the obvious.”

— Glenn Andrews

“Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.”

— Gary Larson

A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.

— Ruth Westheimer

His [Bob Dylan] humour was dry and splendid.

— Bob Dylan

Laugh a lot. A good sense of humor cures almost all of life's ills.

— Ritu Ghatourey