Trying to be funny is arguably the least funny thing you can do. — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“Butler: Do you think I look deaf? William: Whadda I know. You look like you could be anything.” — Richmal Crompton Copy Share Image
“Nick: I had a great time. ;) Delilah: Are you winking at me? Nick: No, I had something in my emoticon eye :)~” — M.D. Saperstein Copy Share Image
When you've got nowhere to turn, turn on the gas. , Answered Prayers (Unspoiled Monsters). — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting. — Stephan Pastis Copy Share Image
Steve Carell and Tina Fey are a match made in comedy heaven. They're perfect. — Ben Lyons Copy Share Image
I don't have to defend what I do for a job. Who cares what people say? If people don't see the humor… — Too Short Copy Share Image
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
I think comedies should be short. I don't want to be self-indulgent; I don't want a two-hour comedy. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully. "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever." "And he has Brain." "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain." There was… — Benjamin Hoff Copy Share Image
“No. He’s like me at the moment. We’re both nomadic. He’s still in the military. Currently training SEALs in Coronado, California.” “I’m… — Grace Willows Copy Share Image
“Maybe I'm too jumpy, too untrusting. The thing is, once something bad happens, there's no way to undo it. There's no erase… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
“Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
There is no victim mentality whatsoever in Texas. In Austin we are hyper aware of the existing freedom of American stand-up comedy… — Tony Hinchcliffe Copy Share Image
“How's your humor? What can you do to have more humorous lines to use in the right place at the right time?… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
We’re all pros already. 1) We show up every day 2) We show up no matter what 3) We stay on the… — Steven Pressfield Copy Share Image
“They stole from rich merchants and temples and kings. They didn't steal from poor people; this was not because there was anything… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“It is better for you to keep your wits about one and gain your end.” — Anyaele Sam Chiyson Copy Share Image
Present mirth hath present laughter. What's to come is still unsure. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
