Humor Quotes · Page 157

The best work never was and never will be done for money.

— John Ruskin

I'd never made a teen comedy in my life.

— Harvey Weinstein

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

— Albert Einstein

An Irishman needs three things : silence, cunnning, and exile.

— James Joyce

“Don't anyone move. . . I think we've driven into a mimefield.”

— Jasper Fforde

“whats so funny bout peace, love and understanding?”

— Nick Lowe

I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.

— Mitch Hedberg

“Laughter is the orgasm of the face”.”

— Alfredo Arias

I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way.

— Jonathan Ames

“If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?”

— Calvin Trillin

“Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“She headed for a wide flat rock on the creek's bank, her posture still demanding 'no trespassing' but no longer 'trespassers will…

— Kristen Heitzmann

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up,…

— Steven Wright

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

— Tina Fey

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly…

— Emmett Kelly

I think having funny characters is just one way of having three-dimensional characters.

— Ti West

I'd always liked having a laugh with my friends, and I'd done comedy in plays; but then my friends asked me to…

— Rachel Parris

“Firen didn’t waste any time setting up the meeting with Egnatious. The following day she was in such a rush to tell…

— Laura Kreitzer

My experience growing up in London and growing up in a working class background is that when people are down and out,…

— Daniel Kaluuya

“How long do we wait?” “Long as it takes,” he said distractedly because she was sucking the salt off her thumb. Then…

— Jill Shalvis

“Two- to four-finger waves are commonly used between fast-moving vehicles, but the nicely executed single-finger wave is a thing of beauty and…

— Howard Mohr

Comedy is so fun. I don't know how these people can make movies and work on them for four months and they're…

— Colleen Haskell

Any comic is a tragic soul. Comedy is one of the things that allows one to survive. Particularly if one has been…

— Twyla Tharp

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"…

— Rodney Dangerfield

Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer.

— Georg C. Lichtenberg

A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.

— George Meredith

“A HEART WITHOUT PEACE IS LIKE A ROCK.”

— Pathan

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

— Steven Wright

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

— Michael O'Donoghue

“Laughter is always good for your soul!”

— Timothy Pina

“I have a shocking memory - I remember everything.”

— Melinda Chapman

“You look like a troll doll, a fucking demented troll doll.”

— Audrey Bell

I've got a tail, its just that my head is on the wrong way.

— Bobbie

I think comedy is something I enjoy, so it comes effortlessly.

— Kriti Kharbanda

“You just kissed me! Why isn't your face melting off?”

— S.L.J. Shortt

“Like Mum and that bastard.” “You mean Da?” “Call him what you like.”

— G.A. Aiken

I think everybody would admit that we've got a sense of humor.

— Dusty Hill

Being on 'Star Trek,' you have a funny relationship with fame.

— Robert Picardo

I don't think there's anything outside what comedy can address.

— Steve Coogan

I gravitate towards anything that has a grain of comedy to it.

— Michael Shanks