A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“Our names and titles are assigned randomly by a small monkey who has been fed an exceedingly large amount of gin.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“We've all got trashy friends, but we should choose our trashy friends with more care.” — Dominick Dunne Copy Share Image
“I was court-martialed in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my… — Thomas Hardy Copy Share Image
“I think there is a difference between comic essays and war reporting, and people can tell that.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“-The Lord says to forgive is devine. -The Lord didn't go to high school with you.” — Dakota Cassidy Copy Share Image
“too much alcohol hampers people's ability to parent. That's why I've chosen to remain childless.” — Kyra Davis Copy Share Image
“My mother is the antithesis of a typical Jewish mother, she is very soft-spoken and takes more naps that a cat. As… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“She snorted. “ Talking doesn’t leave my kitchen six inches underwater. Talking doesn’t leave two full-grown demons soaking wet. Unless you were… — Hailey Edwards Copy Share Image
It felt as if things were literally slipping through my fingers. Things were just streaming away from me. I lost my sense… — Michelle Williams Copy Share Image
People ask whether I put the politics first, journalism first or the comedy first; it doesn't really matter. I'm just playing with… — Mark Thomas Copy Share Image
The aim of life is some way of living, as flexible and gentle as human nature; so that ambition may stoop to… — George Santayana Copy Share Image
“The Reverend William Trent, whose mind was of a serious order, had several times warned his elder sister that too lively a… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
“What do you think of human intelligence?" asked Mavis Pellington lamely. "Of whose intelligence in particular?" asked Tobermory coldly. "Oh, well, mine… — Saki Copy Share Image
“Can you swim?" said Victor. One of the cavern's rotting pillars crashed down behind them. From the pit itself came a terrible… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves. — Carolyn Wells Copy Share Image
The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those who feel. — Horace Walpole Copy Share Image
The way I started doing comedy is not a very cool, rock and roll story. — Taylor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
Good humor, like the jaundice, makes every one of its own complexion. — Elizabeth Inchbald Copy Share Image
