“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Buddy I have lived through three wars and several major political skirmishes. You can't beat me down with your boring-to-death sales pitches.” — Anissa Rafeh Copy Share Image
“The Nevernever," she murmured, almost to herself, "I'm in the Nevernever. I'm in freaking faeryland.” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“Color is powerful. It is almost physiologically impossible to be in a bad mood when you're wearing bright red pants.” — Jessi Arrington Copy Share Image
“Coitus interruptus by SWAT team. At last a form of birth control that was one hundred percent reliable.” — Laura Lippman Copy Share Image
“Just think how it would look if a reader walked into a café you'd recommended and found it taken over by vegetarians.” — Anne Tyler Copy Share Image
“Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a… — Larry Correia Copy Share Image
So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“Forty minutes later, my hatred for field hockey was in full bloom, courtesy of Nikki. Whoever thought it was a good idea… — K.R. Conway Copy Share Image
“The philosopher Sir James Mackintosh had said that the powers of a man's mind were proportionate to the quantity of coffee he… — Phil Ford Copy Share Image
“Janey was planning a short engagement, she'd simpered, and so, of course, the inevitable collection for the wedding present would soon follow.… — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before." — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“Would you like to stand next to me and introduce yourself to the class?'' Smiled Mr Zimmerman, the English teacher. Nope, I… — Stella Coulson Copy Share Image
“In the broadest sense, there are at least two ways to use the danger of norms for comedic effect. The first is… — Kevin Simler Copy Share Image
“This isn't television! This isn't a movie! Giles and Buffy aren't gonna appear and show us how to deal with our wonderful… — Robin Benway Copy Share Image
“Let's get rid of those fucking ghosts once and for all, Proph. We tried burying them, but that never works. So how… — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
“Ah hell, this was bad. Double-chocolate-chips-to-my-hips kinda bad.” — Priya Kanaparti Copy Share Image
Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
