If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I ain't never loan friends money; I give it to 'em and I don't expect to get it back. Even when he… — Mike Tyson Copy Share Image
Indeed, the maligned American pastime of baseball may be by-far the greatest and best sport by one criterion, when it comes to… — David Brin Copy Share Image
My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha." — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
If you take guns away from legal gun owners then the only people who would have guns would be the bad guys.… — Bruce Willis Copy Share Image
Hey, Christian rock, if you want to be good, stop copying U2. U2 already did it. You know what I mean? There's… — Billy Corgan Copy Share Image
I go to the saltwater and wash off the blood, trying to decide which I hate more, pain or itching. Fed up,… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be… — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
What kind of respect do I get? ... Just because I'm a physical player, it's O.K. to come at me and do… — Scott Stevens Copy Share Image
What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things,… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
When you turn on the news, they don't say, "Hey, 2 Million kids went to school safely today...40,000 flights took place without… — Richard Patrick Copy Share Image
Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
That is a beautiful tuxedo,” Phury announced as he and Z pushed the door wide. “I have one just like it .”… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
When you take things too seriously, you get old. You have to be silly. Whenever people say, 'Hey, man, are you ever… — Ricky Martin Copy Share Image
Read to your children Twenty minutes a day; You have the time, And so do they. Read while the laundry is in… — Richard Peck Copy Share Image
You know, I really think that when God puts together families, he sticks his finger into the white pages and selects a… — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
It's funny, when you become an actor and you're successful, they don't want to talk about acting any more. 'Hey let's talk… — Nicholas Brendon Copy Share Image
America is an idea, but it's an idea that brings with it some baggage, like power brings responsibility. It's an idea that… — Edward de Bono Copy Share Image
Hey, man. Where have you been? (Dev) Out and about. You? (Talon) (Dev gave him a wicked grin.) Mostly in and out.… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
It's settled, then," Grace said. She turned back to Nick. "Take the Jag to the car wash and for heaven's sake clean… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
You know... the only person I really had to please after a point was the MPAA. Because Lions' Gate was like, hey,… — Rob Zombie Copy Share Image
Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke,… — Brad Stine Copy Share Image
The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I almost rely on other people to say, "Hey, you ever hear of this band?" And I'll say, "Oh, I've never heard… — John Petrucci Copy Share Image
