“My life has been going downhill ever since I stopped pedaling on my bicycle. But I suppose that’s a good thing.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Generally, competition is a good thing. But not when it’s between two nipples, specifically mine, over which one can suck the most.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Charity can be a good thing. But the only cause I’ll support is because. Don’t ask me why.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing my depression isn’t an every day kind… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children. Barely. But that’s one bad thing that’s actually a good thing.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When someone looks at something they don’t understand and they say, “That could be a good thing, or that could be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a good thing. Not starving to death is also a good thing. Being in love with a man named Mr.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Good thing my mother-in-law isn’t pizza shaped, because then I’d have to cut her up into eight slices and serve her to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are. -What makes you think I don’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t know why she broke up with me. I was always there when she needed me. Well, aside for about 3/4ths… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
