When the gospel flourishes in the church, everything flourishes with it. — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the grand collage that is Dada, past and future are equally usable. — Andrei Codrescu Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say you can never win from a woman in an arguement, I say you can never win from a woman in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought. — Alexia Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I was trained as a dramatic actor at New York's Colonnades Theater Lab in the '70s, along with Jeff… — Peter Scolari Copy Share Image
Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to kill someone by chopping their head off,… — Colin Mochrie Copy Share Image
“Wrangling the cat into the cage proved interesting, and Josie had several scratches before Clint bent down and let out a menacing… — Eve Langlais Copy Share Image
I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I should spank you; I didn’t enjoy you impulsively ditching me, but I did enjoy your driving.” “Wait, back up. You…” She… — Amelia Hutchins Copy Share Image
Good girls own only one credit card & rarely use Bad girls own only one bra & rarely use Naughty girls own… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing having a recording be part of your career. It means you can go back and revisit yourself, in… — Samuel Ervin Beam Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It follows that unless your headline sells your product, you have wasted 90 percent of your money... — David Ogilvy Copy Share Image
When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
People have been asking me if I was going to have kids, and I had puppies instead. — Kate Jackson Copy Share Image
What would bug a guy from the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews? — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If A Girl Talks Sweetly She Is Charming If A Boy Talks Sweetly He Is A Flirt — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook have to get this- names and meanings for idiots just like you! — Natasha Uys Copy Share Image
“You are Bellman, aren’t you? The genius who sent the sauna ape after me?” Harry nodded toward the Finn.” — Jo Nesbø Copy Share Image
If you pick up a guitar and it says, 'take me, I'm yours,' then that's the one for you — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
When someone makes fun of your favorite celeb, you automatically defend them without even realizing it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everytime I look down at the keyboard I see that U&I are together… Hey look over there is my X — Candace Prickett Copy Share Image
The question is not whether we can afford to invest in every child; it is whether we can afford not to. — Marian Wright Edelman Copy Share Image
You can talk behind my back allyou want. You'd never have the balls to say it to my face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is good government when those who are near are made happy, and when those who are afar are attracted. — Confucius Copy Share Image
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
Without my drivers license, youll just have to believe the age I tell you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
