You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I'm the smartest celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
This Friendship Day, I promise to focus mostly on your good qualities when talking behind your back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Persecution is not wrong because it is cruel; but it is cruel because it is wrong. — Richard Whately Copy Share Image
I'm waiting to get married until my age group's first batch of divorces. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WIFE, A person who sits up with you when you are sick, and puts up with you when you are not; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny, because '1600 Penn' was the first time I really started to read the reviews, because I am an executive producer… — Josh Gad Copy Share Image
I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
I had a strong vision for 'The Best Man Holiday,' so I was able to translate that to the actors and ultimately… — Malcolm D. Lee Copy Share Image
“Thank you,” she says and yanks the pull-tab off the soda can. She takes a big sip and aaahs. Then she takes… — Caprice Crane Copy Share Image
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“You’re not mending anything, remember, Sand? The hedge.” He paused and shook his head at himself. “And Perrotte’s away for a few… — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
“He’d never been shy, but he’d always been a little uncertain around girls. He just couldn’t believe they liked him.” — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
