There are more men than women in mental hospitals...which just goes to show who's driving whom crazy. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Freedom comes not from resisting truth, but from applying it. — D. Todd Christofferson Copy Share Image
I became very sensitive to what will happen to all this and all of us. — Albert Hofmann Copy Share Image
If we extend our senses, we will consequently extend our knowledge. — Neil Harbisson Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I use the free Wi-Fi at Starbucks to complain to Starbucks about how slow their free Wi-Fi is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're that one friend who always gives relationship advice, but is still single. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Silence Kid' starts with a broken classic-rock intro. It's funny to hear us do that. Obviously, we weren't skillful rock stars. Then… — Stephen Malkmus Copy Share Image
“In my defense, the Easter Bunny is the weakest link in magical lore. I mean, you have to admit that the whole… — Autumn Doughton Copy Share Image
Principle: Fire drill, everyone ina single line! Me: Get real, no one's going to form a single line if the building was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a… — Kapil Sharma Copy Share Image
“What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you.… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
That moment when two strangers are talking about your favorite movie and you're dying to join their conversation. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
“The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from… — Dylan Perry Copy Share Image
I'm going to be who I really am. I'm going to figure out what this is. — Stephen Chbosky Copy Share Image
My Mother's Day gift to you is not deleting the embarrassing comments you make on my Facebook Wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Put it out of your mind. In no time, it will be a forgotten memory. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
Old ways will always remain unless some one invents a new way and then lives and dies for it — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
Never ask old people how they are if you have anything to do that day. — Joe Restivo Copy Share Image
I'm actually not funny, I'm just mean, but people always think I'm joking... — Rohit Padhra Copy Share Image
Boys are like busses, you wait for one for ages, then suddenly 3 come at the same time... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling in love with a blender!” — Daniel Nayeri Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just need to make a funny face, use a goofy expression, or do an impersonation with a accent. — J Gullang Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Snooki on proving everything every girl's parents ever told them is wrong. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instrumental or mechanical science is the noblest and above all others, the most useful. — Leonardo da Vinci Copy Share Image
While we cannot always choose what happens to us, we can choose our responses. — Stephen Covey Copy Share Image
No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive. — Thorstein Veblen Copy Share Image
He who loves community destroys community; he who loves the brethren builds community. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer Copy Share Image
If you want to have more ideas. Simply spend more time in toilet :P — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a bad Picasso, but some are less good than others. — Pablo Picasso Copy Share Image
