“Wait a minute, hold on... The dude dies, and the girl cries so hard that she gets turned into a fountain ? ” — Caroline Goode Copy Share Image
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room — Mercedes McCambridge Copy Share Image
That really annoying moment when you can't find the long side of the blanket. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You are going to love the sports here. Snow skiing and water-skiing and rock climbing and all kinds of extreme sports. I… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can… — Lindsay Lohan Copy Share Image
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I need more people to play Draw Something with, so add Jazzimini if you would like to play with me(: Lol, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I hear tapping outside my window. I don't think it's my prince to come kiss me. I think its a serial… — Anonymous Copy Share Image