Thanks for posting to Facebook precisely when you'll be out of town for Thanksgiving so I can rob your house. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways. — Jase Robertson Copy Share Image
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tip: Speak English. Kiss French. Drive German. Dress Italian. Spend Arab. Party Caribbean. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high Where knowledge is free … — Rabindranath Tagore Copy Share Image
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Everyone has the right to live in a great place. More importantly, everyone has the right to contribute to making the place… — Fred Kent Copy Share Image
“I like to skip prewriting. I love just jumping into the actual writing process. Then I revise/edit and fix what I need… — Nina Jean Slack Copy Share Image
“Bombs Away!" he yelled, swooping low over StregaSchloss. He saw little figures on the ground fleeing from the large green projectile that… — Debi Gliori Copy Share Image
Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a… — Andrew Hinkinson-Hodnett Copy Share Image
It's very funny that I'm being appreciated for my dance moves because when I was young, I was made fun of, as… — Nora Fatehi Copy Share Image
What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get… — Alan Carr Copy Share Image
