I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to… — Lupita Nyong'o Copy Share Image
If u opened your mind as much as your mouth u just might learn something~ — DeAngelo Stokes Copy Share Image
I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh. — Chris Bauer Copy Share Image
''SYMPATHY''... You can get from Anybody -- But...!! ''JEALOUSY''... You have to Earn it…!!!!!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“When you’re in love with two people, always choose the second. The fact that you are constantly thinking of the second person… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
People: I love it when my boyfriend tells me how much he loves me. Me: I love it when my microwave tells… — Varsha Sharma Copy Share Image
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM… — RON WHITE Copy Share Image
I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
In order for comedy to be funny you have to play the truth of the moment. But if you're not being completely… — Stephen Root Copy Share Image
Dear Middle School Girl Who Thinks She's a Victoria's Secret Model, Mind if I Borrow a Tissue? Sincerely, It's Fallin Out Of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An EX will text you I miss you I still care about you I still love you because the person they tried… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you hear your mom mention your name on the phone and all you think is what the hell is… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
