Funny Quotes · Page 414

I don't like museums; there's nothing to buy.

— Violet Trefusis

We must not tamper with the organic motion of the soul.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some things are more important that life itself

— Edwin Louis Cole

The more you do, the more you can do.

— William Hazlitt

I lost my shame the day I was born.

— Nikhil Saluja

And I really haven't done a damn thing.

— Pat Tillman

You never run out of things that can go wrong

— Hussein Nishah

After all is said and done, sit down.

— Bill Copeland

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

— Kathy Griffin

I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.

— Dylan Moran

The sexual tension bus drivers have, as they pass another bus driver.

— Amber Rose Whitaker

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.

— Barbara Corcoran

“Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity.”

— Bauvard

Don't ever be someone you're not. We are all that we are, so why try to change that?

— Shannon Leto

I'm bored so leave me questions,and I will post tons of quotes and pictures tomorrow asdfghjkl; bye

— Anonymous

“For in the forest someone is always watching and someone is always listening!”

— Nancy B. Brewer

Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says “Sign…

— E. Lockhart

“It's alright" said a dreamy voice from beside Harry as Ron vanished into the coach's dark interior. "You're not going mad or…

— J.K. Rowling

Statistics can be so misleading. It is funny, though, how often at the moment you see one team had 60 per cent…

— Neil Warnock

So many times, I'll see something working for someone else, and I'll say, 'I need to write sketches like that.' I need…

— Heidi Gardner

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

— Dave Attell

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd…

— Mariah Carey

God made Coke, god made Pepsi, god made me, OH SO SEXY! God made rivers, god made lakes, god made you.. well..…

— Anonymous

I started making skits, and I started, like, getting more followers, and, like, my friends told their friends, like, 'Oh, she actually…

— Lele Pons

A good time for laughing is when you can.

— Jessamyn West

“Feed a dog so your neighbor won't bark at you.”

— Ljupka Cvetanova

Say what you think / Love who you love.

— Kacey Musgraves

There is only one better thing than music - live music.

— Jacek Andrzej Bukowski

Creativity is always from the beyond.

— Rajneesh

“HERE LIES THE MYSTERY PISSER P.I.P.”

— Wendelin Van Draanen

Do dumbass things, suffer dumbass consequences.

— Cody Lundin

I can say that. I have a television show.

— Daniel Tosh

I refused to let go of what I had.

— Erwin McManus

Our words set the direction for our lives.

— Joel Osteen

“Love is a fairytale blah, blah, blah.”

— Jessica Fortunato

I see God every day... For God is in everything I see.

— Anthony D. Williams

Any theory is better than no theory.

— Fuller Albright

Theres so much to be afraid of.

— Barry Lopez

What is the pattern of change?

— Janet Burroway

If I could sing, I wouldnt be a guitarist.

— Robin Trower