Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
Christianity is not a mere religion but an experimentally testable science. — Frank J. Tipler Copy Share Image
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck when your pickup breaks down and you fix it. On the front lawn. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
It is funny, I have the ability to win a stage in the Tour de France and I do win races that… — Sam Bennett Copy Share Image
This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
The U.S. team has swept all the medals in the skeet shooting event. So despite our bad economy, it's nice to know… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
It's funny, because when I was in college, all my professors said, 'You should do comedy.' And I was like, 'No! No!'… — Rachael Harris Copy Share Image
I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's… — Andy Cohen Copy Share Image
I really enjoy being in the rock world. They're funny, 90 percent of them are funny. And they're guys that you would… — Jim Breuer Copy Share Image
