MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fact: Women suffer more migraines more men. Reason: Because we have to deal with men — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I listen to my music and sing when I have problems, then I realize my voice is worse than my problems. — Twang_beauty Copy Share Image
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let's rejoice that the herculean task of trying to ignore Harry Potter is almost over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace. — Don Herold Copy Share Image
Pata nhi kyu log meri itni respect krte h main jb unhe msg krti hun to wo apna sir neeche jhuka kr… — Sadie Copy Share Image
They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I'd been involved with stand-up before improv, so I already thought highly of myself as being a funny person. I never thought… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I thought it would be really funny to find my way onto 'The Bachelorette' somehow and be the guy that is only… — John Wilson Copy Share Image
Most people tell me that what they are surprised about the most is that I sing really well, I always find it… — Jinkx Monsoon Copy Share Image
I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Watching a gorgeous vampire and buff werewolf battle for a girl's love is the perfect distraction from my inability to meet a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
