Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
LOVE, What we have in common with the residents of all third-world countries; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“He laughed, a big, open-mouthed laugh that made her think of words beginning with the letter O.” — Kerrigan Bane Copy Share Image
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I think we may have started this conversation off on the wrong foot," Robert said finally. In fact, if the conversation had… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Has anyone seen a raving bitch with nice hair?” Holly shouted at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone who heard her pointed… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It functions right… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
That moment when you study SO hard for an exam, & you readthe first question & you're Like WTF where was this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step… — Kid Cudi Copy Share Image
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love 'Overboard!' That's such a great movie, and it's one of the first movies where it co-stars a man and a… — Kaitlin Olson Copy Share Image
